my apologies

"It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them."

-P.G. Wodehouse, The Man Upstairs-

Is it my fault if your self-esteem is too high to accept people's polite criticisms?

Is it my fault if you were too haughty and vain to accept my sincere apology?

I just just giving my honest opinions in a very polite manner - if you don't accept it, fine, but did you have to allow it to offend you so much?

Like, seriously, I thought in order to improve, you'll have to accept criticisms as a form of encouragement and lesson to improve rather than just being offended by them.

As a friend of mine just told me, "Those who cannot accept criticisms will never go far in life."

Be happy, friend, I'm giving you credit for this, *grins* though I'm not sure if you want your name to be published.

Mama taught me to be polite and honest (and I was, wasn't I?); I don't see why I could have done anything wrong then.

Just because I gave you a criticism, doesn't mean I'm saying I'm better than you, so please stop accusing me of saying things I did not say, for e.g., I am better than you.

It's like criticizing a movie; saying that the director isn't good enough, the sound effects aren't great, the actress isn't talented enough, etc. Are you saying that you can be a better movie director than him then? A better actress, maybe? No. Well, that's the same here. Just because I said you're not that good, doesn't mean I'm claiming myself to be better than you.

I just hate it when people take my words and give it a whole new meaning.

I should stop ranting now. I guess I was feeling a little upset and guilty (note, offended people. I was upset and guilty, if that makes you happier) that I'd offended some people, but then I've apologized very sincerely so if it still isn't accepted, so be it.

Life goes on. With or without them.

the final ~teen

Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone.

-Jim Fiebig-

I have just realized that *HUGE GASP* I'm already in my final year of being a teenager.

Nineteen.

The final ~teen in all of teens.

In a blink of an eye, my teenage days are almost gone!!!!! How can that be?? It seems like it was only yesterday that I was telling myself, "Self, your teenage days are long. It'll be forever before you grow out of being a teenager. Enjoy your life at ease. Being a teen is great, and you'll have many, many, many more years of it."

However, this is my final year already!!!!

*screams inwardly*

Have I wasted my teenage years just like that??? The school days!! The memories!! They're all history now!! Can it be that I'm going to be in my twenties soon???

Reality strikes me like a huge rock smack right in the middle of my head.

Ouch.

bffs

"It's the friends that you can call up at 4 a.m., that matter."

-Marlene Dietrich-

In my 19 years of living, I have met many people, made many friends.

Joined many peer groups, too.

Some were fun, some weren't half that bad. One thing's for sure, I've gained lots of unforgettable (though I think I'd rather some to be forgotten) and priceless experiences.

My first peer group was in Primary Two. I can't recall what we named ourselves, but we deemed ourselves to be the prettiest and the most popular girls. At least we made others think we were popular. Abby and I were the founders, and we tried our best to be sorority girls. Kid-style.

To round off, I even got back stabbed half-way through. If that isn't what sorority girls do, I don't know what else is.

Hence, I now proudly announce that I'm glad that even at the tender age of eight, I was already privileged enough to experience the life of a popular girl's social lifestyle, complete with all the backstabbing, bff-swapping, gossipping, slumber parties, lies, and jealousies.

After that, my social life pretty much went through a blur.

It wasn't until secondary school when I finally settled down. In my late teens, I was already getting comfortable with the Gossip Babies.

We didn't deem ourselves to be popular or anything like that, but I have to admit we had our own ways. We gossipped, talked behind people's backs, and I even picked on some. I guess you could say I was kinda like a bully. Not so much of backstabbing, but I can't say there's totally none. We weren't angels.

But still. I'm happy to say that I really enjoyed my time with them.

In college, I joined the Nerd/Geek group.

I know. Don't laugh.

At least they were good influence. For once, I actually studied.

For once, I actually learnt that there's more to a student's life than the usual shopping, gossipping, back stabbing, and such.

And I actually gave up gossipping for a WHOLE YEAR. Can you imagine that?

*gives myself a pat on my back*

Now that I'm in uni, I can't say I've grown much. One can never admit he/she's a grown up when one is actually a member of the Little Grass group.

I mean, when university students start forming their own group, calling themseves Little Grasses, you can't expect them to be that mature now, can you?

We may not be sorority girls, or big-mouthed gossippers, or big bullies, but we're not nerds either.

I guess you could say we're a fun-loving group where we hold gatherings, outings, and such.

As innocent as the name may sound though, I have never forgotten my roots. I love gossipping, and the Little Grasses are such great companions just for that.

Love you, Grassies.

I miss you too, Gossip Babies!

Friends forever!

Chain Rxn

"One more time. I'll get lucky this round. All I need is one more try..."

-Gamblers-

I'm currently being addicted to a game on Facebook.

Chain Rxn.

It's a pretty simple game, where you try to explode as many balls as possible with just one click.

It works like this:
1. Player is first presented with a grey box in which several tiny balls are randomly bouncing about. Think atoms in a box.
2. Player clicks once anywhere inside this box, and a translucent white ball grows (think white beam of growing light), and then stays that way for a couple of seconds, in which that duration of time, another tiny ball has to hit it, before it shrinks and disappears into nothingness.
3. If said white translucent ball isn't hit by any other tiny balls before it shrinks and disappears, player loses that round.
4. If, however, a random tiny ball hits the white translucent ball, then that tiny ball grows and in turn becomes a translucent ball itself, which then provides other balls the chance to hit it, after which that other ball will in turn grow into a large translucent ball itself.
5. For every tiny ball that grows, the player collects points.
6. Each level his its' minimum requirements; in the first level, the player is required to explode at least one ball out of 5, but the number of balls required increased until in the final level, where the player is required to explode at least 54 balls out of 60.

If you were too lazy to read the above six simple steps of the game, let me just sum it up that all the player has to do is to click once on the screen, and then sit back and enjoy.

Sounds simple, doesn't it?

I spent over an hour on that game last night. Got me hooked.

I think this game is just plain evil. It makes you think:

"It's so simple; I'm gonna win this in a minute,"

and then half way through, you'd be like "Damn it, hit that freaking ball before it shrinks away!! Hit it! Hit it! Come on!!"

and then you'd go "Damn!! If only the ball would stay put for another second; there were FIVE freaking tiny balls moving towards it already!"

Then you'd curse your bad luck, and try again, telling yourself that in the next round, you'll definitely make it, because "It was a matter of nanoseconds before those tiny balls touched it!!"

It's funny how games like this trick us into staring intensely at the balls, thinking that the harder we stare, the faster they'd move towards the blown up ball and hit it; as though the human brain had some sort of special connection with the computer.

Maybe it is true that the more we tense up our muscles, tilt our bodies towards the direction we wish the balls to move, and distort our faces into constipated looks would make the balls shift that little more.

It's almost as though repeating the sentence "No, no, no, don't shrink just yet, the balls are getting close, so close, don't shrink!" in one's head would magically make the translucent balls stay there for that much longer.

*Urgh!! Just a little more! Pushhhhh!!! Go!!! Urrgh!!! Don't shrink yet! Faster!!!*

Personally, yes, I think the tiny balls do move faster when I'm looking at them; by a nanometer per second, maybe.

*Gah!!! Bad luck!! I was THIS close!!*

Before you know it, three hours have passed and you still haven't managed to beat that high score.

Why do humans have to think up of such evil games?

Break-up survival guide

Remember how about two years ago, in the period of May - October of 2007, was going through very, very hard times?

Yes, my closer friends would know, of course, I'm talking about my break up, with the first guy I had ever truly loved.

He was the one who taught me what loving another person meant. He was the one who first swept my feet off the ground.

My first love...

And then, he dumped me.

I can't say it's entirely his fault; I know I had my flaws too.

But still.

Believe me, surviving a break up is probably one of the hardest things to do in life.

Hence, Jasryn, one of the survivors of this great tragedy, after first hand experiencing it, decided to write The Break-Up Survival Guide.

Right after the break up, broken, down, and suicidal:
The Break-Up Survival Guide Part 1.

Denial. Missing him. He'll definitely be back for me... Won't he? No, he isn't going to be back. Forget it:
The Break-Up Survival Guide Part 2.

Ooh, I effing HATE HIM SO MUCH!! I wished I could kill him, but I can't coz I love him so much. Do I love him or hate him? Gahhh, I hate myself:
The Break-Up Survival Guide Part 3.

It's my fault. It's my fault he left me. I must have treated him pretty bad. Remember that one time I was late for our date? That must be the reason he broke up with me. If not for that silly mistake of mine, we would still be happy together. It's all my fault:
The Break-Up Survival Guide Part 4.

I can't live without him. I've lost my reason for living. It's no point. I might as well not eat and die:
The Break-Up Survival Guide Part 5.

I guess it isn't so bad after all. I didn't really love him, anyway:
The Break-Up Survival Guide Part 6.

Thanks, Jas, for writing this funny, witty, yet very helpful guide. It's definitely something worth sharing with all the break up victims out there. Though it may not be of much use (trust me, anyone undergoing a break up will NEVER take any advice you give her; she'd be too busy moping) at first, but it can definitely serve as a great motivation to those who are still licking their wounds, and as a comfort, knowing that they're not the only people out there suffering in pain.

All credits goes to Jasryn, and everyone else who has survived a break up. Give yourselves a pat on the back, a treat to some ice-cream, and maybe a title for your great victory, for you have overcame one of the most difficult trials in life.

It wasn't that bad now, was it?

talk to me.

"Talk isn't cheap; it's just an illusion caused by the fact that too many Casanova guys are generously giving it out to pretty girls for free."

-Rae-

As the old saying goes, 'talk is cheap'.

As far as I'm concerned, it ain't.

"You're beautiful."

"You mean the world to me."

"You're amazing."

"I love you."

These are only a few of the many talks I would buy.

Call me naive, call me gullible, for all I care.

Talk isn't cheap; they're beautiful, warm, and comforting words which help people when they're down, and I'd really appreciate it when somebody actually takes the effort to say them to me. An aid to physical and emotional intimacy, words can sometimes help maintain that great friendship, or a relationship you truly cherish.

Talk isn't cheap, because I know how to use it.

Talk isn't cheap, because I know they affect people greatly.

Talk isn't cheap, because when it comes from the bottom of one's heart, it can do as little as making a sobbing child laugh, or it can do as much as changing a person's entire life.

Talk isn't cheap, because I have experienced it. I know it.

Talk isn't cheap.

It just ain't.

Still not good.

"vin升@ntu is fucking happy now...yeah!!! yahoooo"

-Vincent's MSN personal message-

It doesn't help that EVERYONE ELSE is celebrating over their results of GPA 4.0 and above except for me.

Yes, I'm still moping over my grades.

Worst of all, my mum thinks I'm not studying hard enough, I didn't try hard enough, I was playing too much, that I've not been concentrating n my studies, yadda, yadda, yadda.

It's just too bad if she doesn't have the chance to see me crying because I was too stressed out over my studies, and not having the chance to see me studying my ass off till I almost had an emotional breakdown (see that, ma? I almost had an EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN, if that isn't enough for you), and I was nice enough to lie to my parents that I'm coping well enough because I didn't want them worrying about me, but why the fuck did she have to actually think NEGATIVELY OF ME??

As if I'm not hating myself enough already because of my stupidity (yes, I'm stupid, how else could I have gotten a FUCKING GRADE C for my Physics?), my parents are making it worse.

To K: So much for promising to tutor me to get a GPA of 4.0. I guess you did try your best, but I was too dumb for you, huh?

To A/P Rusli: About two weeks before our exams, you mentioned before, "I expect you guys to be prepared by now. However, if you haven't, there is still hope. Try doing the past years, with the help of your lecture notes, and you should be able to get a pass." (To which I replied, "Har!! Pass only ah...", and he smiled at me). Well, guess what? I guess I let you down. I was prepared, I knew my stuff, and I completed all the past years with minimal reference to my lecture notes, and all I got was a lousy pass.

I thought a pass was what unprepared students would expect to get? I was prepared! I fucking studied! As hard as hell, too!

Most of all, I let myself down.

I'm fucking, fucking, fucking stupid.

I wish I could just fucking die.

I'm the dumbest person in the whole wide world.

fck.

I mean like, I've tried my best and my results are still as shitty; what else does God want me to do to get AT LEAST SOME DECENT RESULTS?? I CAN'T DO MORE THAN MY BEST EFFORTS, YOU KNOW!!?? If you haven't noticed, I'M ONLY HUMAN.

DAMN

"10days; what's the big deal? its just a piece of paper at the end of the day. It doesn't determine WHO I am and what I'm TRULY capable of. **I don't know, I'm allowed to make myself feel better, so don't speak. Thank You!**"

-JacQ's FB comment-

KNNBCCBPKM MY EXAM RESULTS LIKE F**KING SHIT LA.

I STUDIED EVERY SINGLE FREAKING DAY AND I COMPLETED LIKE 10 PAST YEARS PER SUBJECT AND THIS IS WHAT I GET??

THIS JUST PROVES THAT I'M A COMPLETE IDIOT AND ONE OF THE MOST STUPID PEOPLE ON EARTH.


TOTALLY OFF MOOD.

GYAHHHH!!!!

Birthday post

"The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age."

-Lucille Ball-

Happy Birthday to ME!!!

Not that I did anything special today, though.

I'm lazing around at home, nua-ing, as usual.

Special thanks to all who wished me via SMS, phone, MSN, Friendster, and Facebook.

Thanks for remembering (and I'll try to ignore the fact that Facebook automatically gives out reminders about birthdays and such =P)!!!!

***

It's been pretty dull lately; my daily events go something like this:

Wake up, go online, sleep, wake up, go online, sleep. With the occasional shopping spree.

I've been meaning to go in search of a decent job, but I've been putting it off for 2 weeks now. Now that half of May is gone, I've been telling myself that it's no use getting a job now; I'll be gone by end July.

Excuses, I know.

Apologies (gawd, I think I backspaced like ten time trying to spell that word; my spelling sucks, huh) to all my readers for not being able to update my blog with much substantial entries; it's actually pretty hard to do so when my current life can be summed up in less than half a sentence.

Here's a picture of myself to cheer you guys up:



Took it yesterday when I was out shopping with Cindy and Yong Xing. Thought a picture would cheer this little boring entry up a little.

Btw, I do look knida tall in that picture, no?

*grins*

Yes, I'll admit that the reason I posted this picture is probably because I wanted to show off my body shape so badly; you'll have to admit I've slimmed down quite a lot, no?

Call me vain, for all I care.

***

Kevin's Audi hack has finally worked!! I told him a gazillion times it was his anti-virus that was making his hack malfunction but he didn't listen; I'm sooooo tempted to tell him "I TOLD YOU SO!!!"

He should have shut off his anti-virus eons ago.

*Skips off to play Audition*

P.S.: I've been wondering why I seldom look good in pictures (Go to bimbotic blogs like Xiaxue's or Dawn Yang's; they always look good in their pictures) and I think now I know why: I didn't Photoshop them.

I'm an original.

And you thought you knew me.

Just for fun:

Part 1: My personal stuff.
Part 2: The Shopaholic.
Part 3: The full-time student.
Part 4: The classy diner.

Enjoy.

=)

My boyfriend.

Things I've been wanting to do with my boyfriend ever since I was very young:

1. Take the bus with him.
2. Take the plane with him.
3. Hold hands, walking down Orchard Road.
4. Falling asleep in his arms.
5. Going to the beach with him.
6. Going on a holiday trip with him.
7. Having him gently rub my head and ruffle my hair.
8. Celebrating my birthday together in a posh restaurant.
9. Getting married to him in the same church my parents were married in.
10. Go to a photo studio and snap lots of pictures together and have them compiled into a photo album.
11. Whisk off to an exotic holiday destination right after our wedding ceremony takes place, and have wild sex every single night, while enjoying our privacy and freedom from everything else.
12. Receiving love letters from him.
13. Going to class and studying together.
14. Walking confidentally into an exam hall together.
15. Going shopping together.
16. Receiving presents from him.
17. Taking the Singapore Flyer together.
18. Having meals in bed together.
19. Watching fireworks together.
20. Countdown to a new year together.
21. Going to Disneyland with him.
22. Going on a holiday trip to Japan with him.
23. Visiting the zoo together to see his friends.
24. Attending prom together.
25. Visiting Genting Highlands together.
26. Receiving an expensive piece of jewelery from him.
27. Developing a special language of which only the both of us can understand.
28. Cooking up a meal for ourselves together.
29. Have him cook a meal for me.
30. Staying in bed all day, having pillow fights.

*I know the list doesn't stop here; I'll add on when I recall of some more.*

Birthday bash

"It's beautiful tonight."

-K-

Celebrated Cindy's and my birthdays today.

My real birthday is not until a week later, but Cindy and I decided to celebrate it together today coz she is going to KL soon.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CINDY!!!

Arrived at Gurney Plaza at 2 p.m. . Watched Friday the 13th. Deathly merciless killer hunting down innocent campers like nobody's business. Gore galore. Great movie for a birthday celebration, huh?

(Window) shopped a bit, and then went to some by-the-beach restaurant/cafe/whateveryoucallit (I don't remember the name of the place), where Cindy and I celebrated our birthday.

Guests: Yokie, Yeat Hon, Phaik Yean, Mei Hwa, Ken Vin, and Kevin.

After dinner, we went to Segafredo for some drinks, and then headed to the beach, where I learned that beaches at night are full of crawlies which you don't see in the day time.

I was too busy enjoying to snap lots of pics, so here are just two:

The two birthday girls!! I know I look damn sweaty in this pic. Sorry.

Group pic!

Presents!!!!

Fiberwig mascara from Yeat Hon, Cindy, Yong Xing, and Yokie:

They bought it for me because I couldn't bring myself to buy it; it was too costly for my shallow pocket: RM 59.

It's really cool coz it actually makes your eyelashes longer by extending them using fake fibers (hence, its name).

Thanks, guys!! I've been wanting to buy this for so long!

Next, a cactus plant and an antique-looking pirate-like treasure chest from Ken Vin.

I'm not the kind who can care for plants that need constant care; I guess that's the reason he chose to give me a cactus, of all plants.

Thanks, Ken Vin. You're so understanding... Haha...

Next up, two other understanding people who realized my shopping needs gave me this:

Wow, something from MNG!! YAY!!!

Inside the box is a card...

What is it???

Its a...

RM 50 VOUCHER!!!!! OMG!!!! THIS IS SO COOL!!

Thanks, Phaik Yean and Mei Hwa!!!

UPDATE: Jia Ling is also involved in this MNG card. Special thanks to Jia too!!! Muaxxx!!!

Finally, a very, very, very beautiful pendant from Kevin:

It's damn effing beautiful. xoxo

Thanks for your presents, guys!

I love them all!!!

I agree with you, it's truly a beautiful night.

Especially with you around. ily.

Saving Earth. Not.

"Why care, when by the time the earth's pollution reaches chronic stage, I would be dead already?"

-Rae-

After much contemplation, I have come to the conclusion that rich people pollute the earth waaay more than the poor do.

1. Air-conditioning. Only rich people have them. They don't realize how much CFC they're letting out each night as they snore away underneath their thick comforters. AC's also use up more electricity than other cooling electrical appliances (such as ceiling fans), which means increased wastage of energy.

2. Huge limousines and automated vehicles (which only rich people can afford). As we all know, the larger the vehicle, the more fuel it uses, compared to a smaller vehicle. Automated vehicles also use more fuel compared to manual ones, which means more carbon is released, and air pollution increases.

3. Animal skin. The rich use leather handbags, leather wallets, shoes made of crocodile skin and lined with pig-skin soles; you get the idea.

4. Water heaters. They work by electricity. A waste of energy if you asked me. Why can't everyone emulate the less fortunate ones who cannot afford to buy water heaters and take cold baths instead?

5. Rich people over-eat. Think of the poor people in third-world countries who cannot even afford a single meal each day!!!!

6. Rich people chop up jungles and destroy natural habitats, just for the sake of building their own four-storey by-the-beach villas.

7. Really, really, really rich people own private jet planes. DO YOU FREAKING KNOW HOW MUCH FUEL A JET PLANE USES FOR EACH JOURNEY??

However, if I were to choose between saving the earth and enjoying my wealth, I'd pick the latter. No second thoughts.

Stay tuned for my next episode of Saving Earth: Why uneducated people save the earth more effectively compared to educated ones.

Yoke's birthday.

"No wise man ever wished to be younger."

-Jonathan Swift-

First time out shopping since I arrived back home two weeks ago!!!

Yesterday was Yoke's birthday, and she invited me out shopping with her.

Lunch at Sakae Sushi with Yoke, Erdiana, and me.

About a month ago, I promised to treat Yoke to lunch if she kindly helped me with my assignment.

And so, here we were, at Sakae Sushi, eating happily, ordering dish after dish without a care in the world.

The bill turned out to be: 145 EFFING RINGGIT AND 15 EFFING CENTS.

Out of that, Erdiana only ate RM 21 worth of food.

I so do not want to know how much Yoke and I ate. On top of that, I did promise that I would treat her to lunch... so...

*sigh*

Tried on dresses...
This is a red shirt/dress I fell in love with at first sight.

Though I don't know if it's actually okay to wear it as a dress...

I think it would look better if I wore it with a pair of jean shorts. Or leggings; but leggings only look good on tall people with slender legs. My legs are just not... well... you get the idea.

Martina said I looked as if I just walked out of my boyfriend's bedroom wearing his over sized shirt.

Marcus says his girlfriend calls it the 'after-sex shirt'.

Personally, I love that slutty look of me in that rumpled loose shirt, chic make-up complete with heavy mascara and messed up hair (yeah, my hair was messed up when I was changing out of my tank top) and sexy black killer heels!!

Whatever it is, I loved it soooooo much but I couldn't buy it. For the very obvious reason, i.e., it's too obscene.

It's not that I care that much about decency whatsoever, but I definitely don't want my parents nagging away.

So, here's another picture before I bid it goodbye.


Next up, a somewhat boring yet casual jacket-dress. It's buttoned up at the front, with a hood at the back. Pretty decent, if you asked me.

Hence, I decided, after much contemplation, to buy it. I also bought a giant barbie-doll-kind-of-pink colored belt (2 inches thick) to go with it, coz Erdiana said the dress looks plain by itself.

Too bad I forgot to take a picture of myself wearing the dress together with the belt.


But it doesn't look half that bad without the belt, does it? Gives it a more casual feeling, whereas the brightly colored belt gives it a more chic look.


Finally, a white semi-transparent (opaque, to be more precise) white shirt/dress with a zebra print on the front.

I would have bought it if only the back wasn't slashed open and held together only by strings intersecting each other (hence revealing my entire back and bra), and if it weren't so see-through.

I could even see my panties showing through the material!! My fat thighs also printed out already!!!! Super obscene okay!!! Not the sexy/seductive kind of obscene, but the totally disgusting/freaks-me-out kind which makes guys wanna puke!!!

No sane guy on earth would ever see someone's panties printed through her dress (alongside with her fat thighs) and think it's sexy, unless its a G-string with studded diamonds on it.


After shopping, I went home for awhile, and then met up with Xing (AHHHH!!! MY BELOVED XING!!! I MISSED YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCHIES!!!) to have dinner with her but she had to go soon so I didn't get to talk much with her.

Sob sobzzzz...

***

I'm going to celebrate my birthday tomorrow!!! Whee!!!

It's sad though, that it's only one more year that my age would begin with the digit 2 instead of 1. It makes me feel so... so... ancient.

Regardless of what Jonathan Swift says, I still wished I could stay young forever. Young yet wise, of course.

Love Fool

"I don't think I'll ever truly forget. It may be put behind me, yes, but never truly forgotten."

-Rae-

Dear, I fear we're facing a problem
you love me no longer, I know
and maybe there is nothing
that I can do to make you do
Mama tells me I shouldn't bother
that I ought just stick to another man
a man that surely deserves me
but I think you do!

So I cry, and I pray and I beg

Love me love me
say that you love me
fool me fool me
go on and fool me
love me love me
pretend that you love me
lead me lead me
just say that you need me

So I cried, and I begged for you to
Love me love me
say that you love me
lead me lead me
just say that you need me
I can't care about anything but you

Lately I have desperately pondered,
spent my nights awake and I wonder
what I could have done in another way
to make you stay
Reason will not reach a solution
I will end up lost in confusion
I don't care if you really care
as long as you don't go

So I cry, I pray and I beg

Love me love me
say that you love me
fool me fool me
go on and fool me
love me love me
pretend that you love me
lead me lead me
just say that you need me

So I cried, and I begged for you to
Love me love me
say that you love me
lead me lead me
just say that you need me
I can't care about anything but you

(anything but you)

Love me love me
say that you love me
fool me fool me
go on and fool me
Love me love me
I know that you need me
I can't care about anything but you.

-The Cardigans, Love Fool-

This song is so like me. It's exactly what I'd say, put in that situation.

Gosh.

Guess it does go to show that even the smartest women are dumb when it comes down to their feelings, huh?

randoms

This is gonna be a picture loaded post.

Just because I feel like it.

Here's a picture of my Physics text book:


A another one to show you how thick it is (and how I went insane trying to study it):

1.75 friggin' inches thick!!

Next, a random photo I took of my room's wall + ceiling + lights:


Another of my laptop:


Two more of my room:


My wardrobe (very few clothes, I know; most of them are in Singapore already):

Here's a picture of me, naked, taking a shower...

Nah, just kidding.

*grins*

A poster of my current favorite game, Breath of Fire III:
Am so addicted to it, but currently not in the mood to play, coz I just died and I didn't have the chance to save.

I received birthday discount vouchers from Roxy/Quiksilver a few days ago!!!!

Another birthday voucher from Universal Traveler:

And another final one from Cupid De Com (The blood-sucking boutique at Queensbay from which I bought a pretty dress worth RM 300+, which I wore only twice: once at college prom, another at my cousin's wedding):

I love discounts.
You can expect a (huge) shopping spree coming up.

Last but not least, a picture that will make you go WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING???


Out.

sigh

It hurts to breathe because every breath I take proves I can't live without you.

-Anonymous-

Thursdays are for virginities.

Wednesdays are for chocolates.

Mondays are for bad moods and sluggish work.

Fridays are for celebrating and partying.

Saturdays are for church.

Sundays are for moping and studying.

Tuesdays are for sobering.

Why?

Just because.

***

I'm confused, disappointed, and... and... uh...confused.

I don't know what to do.

It's all the more saddening that I don't even have the money to pamper myself to a whole day of spa, manicure, pedicure, body cleaning, massaging, and those other things you get when you pamper yourself.

sigh

7m + 1

"Hee... Hee..."

-Kevin-

Happy 7m + 1.

*"Hee... Hee..." right back at you!*

***

I know I'm not making any sense.

loco roco

"Bajumbo moi noi noi jecker

Dabatto bunkergait jun jun

Nora juere-rotto pura-pura petto

Puraret dum dum

Paruranoi noi noi jecker

Dabatto bunkerget tum tum

Ora poerketino bookertan tan-tan-so

Bokertyo kyenturanai mimani unlahood-cha-la

Terra hooki-ra pishi-to diki-ra poody-to

Seni-kidi koseibo

Kokorenkyo kyenturanai mimani unlalhood-cha-la

Terra hooki-ra shishi-sho tusura hajiki yo…"

- Lyrics of the Loco Roco soundtrack-

Listen to this.

It's currently my favorite song.

See how the exams has damaged my sanity?

***
People all around me are indulging in FB apps, and I don't understand any of it.

Sure, I was a vampire once, but I never did get around to biting many people. Neither was I very strong in Fighter's Club. My pet from Pet Society has been lonely for a very long time.

So, anyone out there to introduce any addictive Facebook applications? I've noticed that many people (especially NTU-ians) have been getting addicted to FB apps lately; probably using them to procrastinate during the exam period. Personally, I have never understood their addictivity; I always ignore any requests or invitations. So, what's the hottest thing on FB now? Tell me, so that I can join in your fun!! I just don't want to end up getting crazy over some random app, just to find that nobody in my circle of friends play it.

So, what's popular in Facebook?

Liked my art, huh?

You're here coz you clicked on my art.

Click here to go back.

summer break

"I don't love expensive food; it's just an unfortunate coincidence that the food I love are all expensive."

-Rae-

Summer break is finally here!!!

As most of you should know by now, I'm back in Penang!!!!!

For 3 whole months!!!

Whee!!!

Of course, there are some things to be missed in Singapore, e.g., not being nagged by parents, 100% freedom, efficient and convenient transportation, and being able to sleep in till 5 p.m. without being awaken by the maid who insists I that have lunch (at lunchtime, of course; apparently, the people in my household do not share my idea of breakfast at 6 p.m., and lunch at 12 a.m.), and hence, having to drag myself out of bed by 1 p.m., regardless of what time I went to bed the night (or morning) before.

Nonetheless.

It's great to be home coz I don't have to do my own laundry, I don't have to worry over my daily meals, I have a huge bed all to myself, a giant air-conditioned bedroom, my very own personal (not to mention clean) attached bathroom, and I don't have to eat canteen food anymore.

The greatest thing?

Not having to study for 3 whole months.

WHEEEEE!!!

***

Spent the night at Phaik Yean's last night. Complete with junkfood, comfy bedsheets, and a cute movie (of which I can't recall its title) about a brave mouse, a rat, a chef, and a princess.

Bought a new scarf - RM 39 - (finally!! I'm getting pretty tired of the old fashioned jackets and sweaters; scarfs are so much more chic), and spent lots on food.

Can't blame me. I've been having canteen food for the past 3 months almost every single day (excluding weekends and the occasional "I'M - SO - FRIGGIN' - SICK - OF - CANTEEN - FOOD; - I'M - GONNA - SPLURGE - MYSELF - ON - SAKAE - SUSHI - AND - I - DON'T - CARE - HOW - MUCH - I - SPEND!!" kind of mood).

I bought sweet potatoes which cost RM 6.70 (really, weren't those food for the poor in China during the olden days when they didn't have enough money for rice? And here, they're selling sweet potatoes at RM 6, and rice at 20 cents per bowl), some midnight snacks, and then spent RM 30 on my brunch at Sushi King. I couldn't help it; it's the chef's fault for making sashimi look so delicious and tempting. ~~

To which Cindy, Hwa, and PY commented, "You really love eating expensive foods, don't you?"

My reply? Refer to quote at top.

pissed

"The internet connection back in Malaysia is so friggin', friggin' slow and I'm so friggin' pissed."

-Rae-

Need I say more?

Cinema is Truth

"Cinema is truth, 24 frames per second."

- Jean-Luc Godard -

My latest article has finally been published:

Cinema is Truth.

I know it isn't very good, but I tried my best.

=)

*skips off to watch Fruits Basket*

crawlies. love 'em.

"We hope that, when the insects take over the world, they will remember with gratitude how we took them along on all our picnics."

-Bill Vaughn-

After about 8 months of occupying my room at Hall 8, upon packing and thoroughly clearing out my room, I have realized that my room has magically evolved into a mini self-sustaining ecosystem.

1. Red ants.
Most commonly found in my room (for an unknown reason, they only started to appear in large numbers about 3 months ago), I usually encounter them crawling around on my study table and walls. Occasionally, I spot some of them on my bed and pillow. As to date, I have yet to think of the possibilities that I might have accidentally killed many of them when I'm sleeping, either by accidentally swallowing them or by squashing them flat with my heavy body.

There was once when I mass killed them by pouring my nail polish remover over them.

=)

On a typical night, I usually kill about 10 or so of them.

2. Spiders
Two kinds: The jumpy/hairy kind, and the lanky long legged one.

On usual occasions, I normally don't see them much, but there are times when I would see the jumpy/hairy one jumping around. I try to ignore them, because I think it's plain disgusting to kill them.

Lately, I've been encountering more of the lanky, long legged kind - the one with a tiny negligible body and thin wobbly legs which look like they might break any time. I've just realized that on usual occasions, I don't normally find them, because they were hiding in my old shoe boxes and among my last semester's abandoned lecture notes. In two days of clearing out my room, I have spotted six (yes, I counted) of them:
- One among the styrofoam pieces which was kept in a box which my printer came in.
- Another among my last semester's lecture notes.
- One in my shoe box.
- One in between my shoe boxes.
- One under my bed.
- Another one among my text books.

I didn't kill them (as mentioned before, I think killing spiders are disgusting), and I so do not want to know the possible places they might be in now; or any more of them that I might find in the days to come.

*shudders*

3. Beetles
Not the black tiny ones, but the significantly sized brown ones, which look slightly more intimidating.

I've had a few noisily buzzing around in my room, but I try to ignore them. I think it's utterly disgusting to kill them. I usually find them buzzing around at night, and them mysteriously dead the next morning. I sometimes use a tissue to pick them up and throw them away, but lately I have decided to ignore them.

There is currently a dead one lying at the bottom of one of the corners of my study table. It's sight is fortunately hidden from me, and I don't think I want to bother about it. *ignorance is bliss*

4. Other insects...
Like the semi-decomposed one (which was about 1.5 inches long, may I add) I felt squishing under the palm of my hand when I was picking up my packet of detergent.

I freaked out.

I don't know how long it had been dead there, because I don't usually pick up my packet of detergent; I just scoop the powder off the top and leave the packet lying on the floor.

The other time, I spotted this huge buzzing... uh... thing on the floor, and I was too disgusted to do anything about it.

It was fortunately gone the next day. Don't ask me how.

You may think how the hell was I able to survive with all those crawlies as my room mates, but believe me, if you encounter them frequently enough, you'll get immune to them.

Ever since I started clearing out my room, I've been sneezing non-stop. I have always suspected my room would be dirtier than it looked, but damn, I didn't know my room was that dirty.

You could actually see dust particles flying around.

As of such, I am now escaping my own room.

I think I'll go shopping instead.

post exam.

I constantly find myself on this weird journey called life. As soon as I think I've reached my destination, I find myself smack in the beginning again.

-Rae-

Just about a month ago, I was busying myself with exams and I thought the torture would never end. Now that it's all suddenly over, I honestly don't know what to do with 24 hours a day.

My exam routine goes something like this:

Study, eat, sleep, study, eat, sleep, study, eat, sleep...

And the vicious cycle goes on and on and on. It almost drove me crazy.

There was once I was so emotionally unstable that I broke down into tears and sobbed the entire night. The next day, I was so hungover (yes, I get hangovers if I cried hard enough the night before) I couldn't concentrate on studying. All I wanted to do was close my tired eyes and rest my throbbing head.

I was so eager for all of it to be over, I even made a mental list of post-exam activities:

1. Train my DotA skills up to 5 insane AI+.
2. Go on a HUGE shopping spree.
3. Don't sleep for 24 hours, just for the fun of it.
4. Watch lots and lots of movies. Not the cheap $5 per VCD (original but outdated) kinda thing, but really going to the movies; that $7.50 per movie ticket kinda thing.
5. Treat myself to a posh and expensive dinner buffet (hopefully a Japanese buffet) somewhere at Orchard Road.

Etc. etc.

Now that it's all over, I seriously don't know what to do.

My current list of post-exam activities:
1. Do nothing.
2. Mope around, feeling bored.
3. Miss studying. (Gosh, I know - I totally can't believe it myself!)

I'm going to mope now.

Ciao.

***

I heard that the Thieve's Market near Bugis is pretty interesting. I hope I get to check it out before I go back to Penang.

Sappiness over exams

"Drama is life with the dull bits left out."

-Alfred Hitchcock-

EXAMSAREOVERANDIMSOHAPPY!!!!!!

Watched 3 movies in a row last night - Fast and Furious 4, Catch and Release, and Love Me if You Dare.

Catch are Release are one of those movies where it's so sweet yet sad at the same time, it makes you wanna cry. I got sappy watching it.

Fell asleep at 7.30 a.m. last night, woke up at 4.30 p.m. today. Am going to call K for breakfast at 5 p.m. after taking a shower.

"It was one of those perfect days. Then, he said '"I've got something to tell you." I asked, "Is it going to me more happy, or less happy?" He said, "Less happy." I said, "Then don't tell me." "

-Catch and Release-

Physics 2 framed

I murdered myself today. Physics 2 took the blame.

-Rae's bodiless spirit-

Business Law tomorrow, and Chemistry and What is Cinema on the following day.

I am so blah (whateverthatmeans).

Physics 2

"When the exam begins, a song automatically sings in my head, because I can't study without music."

-Rae to K-

Question 1.

Shit!!! Electric potential and electric field!! How to do?? Die!! Faster find formula!!!

Eh... Differentiate only what...

Aiya, easy lah.

Next!

Question 2...

OMG SHIT!!!! Circuits!!! Totally blank! How to do???

*Damn damn damn damn...*

*Damn damn damn damn...*

Aiyo, damn too long just now, 10 seconds wasted. DAMN.

*DAMN DAMN DAMN...* Okay, must stop. another 3 seconds wasted.

Hmm...

Aiya, anyhow throw formula in lah!

*crosses fingers*

Question 3.

Optics!!! MY favourite! Damn easy!!!

Woo hoo!!!

*brain does somersaults*

...

.......

Eh, not very easy also hor...

But still doable lah.

17 marks... Secured!

Next!

Question 4.

FINAL QUESTION!!! YAY!!!

....

.........

......................

SHIT KNNCCB DUNNO HOW TO DO AT ALL!!!

Quantum + optics = DIE!!

*die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die*

Shit. 20 seconds gone coz die too much.

Okay. Concentrate.

Hmm... Anyhow throw formula in lah!

......

Eh, my answer quite logical wor!

*gains confidence*

......

But why my sin (theta) > 1?

Impossible lah, then sin^(-1) got MATH ERROR LIAO???

Maybe question wrong!!!? Never mind!!! Change values!

*0.215 nm change to 215 nm...*
Rae's mind: OIIII HOW CAN YOU SIMPLY CHANGE THE VALUES? CONFIRM WRONG LAH!!
Rae: Shut up.

Ok!!! if use 215 nm can get answer!!

Kow tim!

But dunno correct or not.

***

Yay I'm finished!! But still got 30 minutes left.

Never mind, I have good time management.

First 15 minutes:

*damn damn damn damn damn...*

*damn damn damn damn damn...*

Next 15 minutes:

*die die die die die die...*

*die die die die die die...*

"Time is up. Please stop writing."

Yay!! I made good use of my final 30 minutes!!! Woot!!!

Stressed

"In Physics, you don't have to go around making trouble for yourself - nature does it for you."

-Frank Wilczek-

Physics 2 exam paper tomorrow!!!!!

I'm so prepared for it - NOT.

I'm going to kill myself now.

*kills self*

Hero Rae.

"For any hero you use, ALWAYS buy Power Treads. ALWAYS."

-Kevin Lim-

Rae versus Exam Insane AI+.

Items to buy for Rae:

1. Hairpin (100 Gold) - A small but useful item to pin up any locks of hair that may block one's view. Intelligence +3.

2. Good Quality Parker Pen (900 Gold) - A very high quality pen used for extra-smooth writing, used by most students who achieve CGPA of 5.0. No smudges. Agility +15, Attack speed +5.

3. Thick Jacket (870 Gold) - Protects the wearer from the cold air-conditioning in most exam halls. Agility +5, HP regeneration +5.

4. Coffee (50 Gold) - Temporarily boosts performance. Usage once only. MP regeneration +10 per second for 5 seconds.

5. Calculator (2000 Gold) - Very useful for complex calculations. Agility +10, Strength +20, Intelligence +5.

6. Ipod (3500 Gold) - Good for de-stressing. HP regeneration +20, Intelligence +10.

7. Lecture Notes (400 Gold) - A good foundation for any battle. Strength +5.

8. Past Year Exam Papers (1000 Gold) - Gives the user additional experience for more rapid leveling up. Armour +10, Strength +3.

9. Tutorials (430 Gold) - An aid to Lecture Notes. Strength +10.

10. Notes and Exercises Recipe (2200 Gold) - Boosts the bearer's morale. Armour +30, Strength +50, Agility +20. Items needed: Past Year Exam Papers, Lecture Notes, Tutorials.

Do not buy the following items for Rae; these may cause her attack to malfunction:

Cellphone, Laptop, Video games.

6 golden hours

Sleeping is no mean art: for its sake one must stay awake all day.

-Friedrich Nietzsche-

Am in a considerably good mood today.

I slept for 6 hours straight last night.

WHEEEEEE!!!

It's the first time in 10 days or so since I've slept this well for 6 WHOLE HOURS without waking up for no apparent reason at all and not being able to go back to sleep.

My usual night goes something like this:

3 - 4 a.m. : Zzzzzz...

4 - 6 a.m : Toss. Turn. Toss. Turn.

6 - 7 a.m. : Zzzzz....

7 a.m. : Toss and turn for about 30 minutes before giving up on sleeping and hitting the books instead.

By 11 a.m., I'm usually sleepy again and then I'll sleep oh-so-very-soundly till about 4 - 5 p.m. or so.

Yes, I've noticed that my biological clock has been turned upside down.

So imagine my utter joy when I woke up this morning feeling so damn fresh coz I actually slept for 6 FREAKING HOURS WITH NO DISRUPTIONS!!!

My sleeping disorder is cured!!!!

Happiness abounds!!!

P.S.: I'm going to sit for my Computing exam paper tomorrow. Wish me lots and lots of luck.
]

Godlike!!!!

Rae is Beyond Godlike. Somebody kill him!!!!!

-DotA messenger screen-

Me versus 1 insane AI+.


See that??

No?

Show you again:

MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

P.S.: I know playing against one Insane AI+ is just too damn easy for some, but keep in mind that:

1. I'm a female, and females are generally noob-ier than guys in DotA.
2. I'm a beginner.

Math 2.

I don't agree with mathematics; the sum total of zeros is a frightening figure.

-Stanislaw J. Lec, More Unkempt Thoughts-

First paper.

Mathematics 2.

A FAIRLY EASY AND SIMPLE question regarding the 2nd order differential equation.

WHY DIDN'T I FREAKING THINK OF USING THE VARIATION OF PARAMETERS METHOD!?!?!!?!!!!

GYAAAHH!!!

I'm the dumbest person in the whole wide world.

'Nuff said.

C programming (part 2)

Programming cool. U suck.

-Anonymous on C Programming-

Dear Anonymous,

I do agree with you that programming is cool and I do like programming, especially when I get to create cool programs and tell the computer what to do.

It's just that I've got this programming exam paper to sit for, and I believe that if you were in my shoes and had to sit for that exam, you'd think that programming sucks too, because every single time you think of it, it stresses you out. Right now, I think programming sucks coz I've gotta study it and sit for a stupid exam. On other days, I'd think it's completely cool.

Of thus, I'm sure you'd understand that, my blog being my personal outlet for my pent up feelings, I'd be expected to rant whenever I want to about whatever I like, regardless of whether you agree with me or not.

Besides, who are you to judge if programming is cool or not? I am sure there are lots of people out there (and who are you to judge whether they suck or not?) who thinks computing sucks too and there's nothing you can say to change their minds.

Seeing that you have apparently been unfortunate enough to develop such an ill opinion about me, I doubt you would ever visit my blog again but if you do, I hope you'll be glad to see that I've responded to your comment in such a informative way instead of a hostile one, which you'd probably expect (and deserve).

By the way, I'd presume that you do not have a very good command of English, as can be seen from your grammatical error. I think what you meant to say was, "Programming is cool. You suck." Otherwise, I don't think that your comment actually means anything logical. *Dummy.*

I'd agree with you that programming is cool. However, I regret to tell you that I do not agree with you on your statement saying that I suck, because being politically correct, I don't think you can actually say a person sucks just because he/she has a certain dislike towards computer programming.

Besides, I don't hate programming.

That said, my dear anonymous reader,it is my greatest pleasure to tell you that you suck, too. For no apparent reason at all, besides the fact that I said so.

Cheers.

P.S. Don't worry, I won't remove your original comment. I think other readers deserve to read what you have commented about me, too.

P.P.S. If you wanted to name yourself anonymous, you could at least surf the web anonymously too and try not to use Ntunet as your ISP (whatdya know, we share the same ISP!) and not land on my page through http://guiltcontradicts.blogspot.com, with IP address of 155.69.202.51? By the way, not many people use Chrome as their web browser.

Slum shit

"What are the chances of a person's life experiences preparing him for the quiz, and in chronological order too!??!"

-Yokie on Slumdog Millionaire-

I. AM. IN. A. FUCKING. BAD. MOOD.

I woke up at 4 p.m. in the morning afternoon yesterday, hit the books, and haven't slept since. It's now 9.40 a.m., and I haven't slept a wink last night.

I studied till 4 a.m. (yes, apparently, I was struggling with Physics from 4 p.m. to 4 a.m. - that's 12 freaking hours of non-stop studying - but only managed to cover TWO stupid chapters, out of 10 or so... Bummer.), tossed and turned till 6.30 a.m., and then decided to continue studying.

I'm so stressed out that I'm beginning to get insomnia.

Fuck.

IM pic

My current MSN display picture is a 4-second video clip of myself putting on a retarded expression.

I was just IM-ing Yokie...

Me: Btw, what do you think of my MSN display picture? It's an expression of what I think of my academic authorities.
Yokie: It's cute.
Me: YAY!!! You said I'm cute!!
Yokie: I didn't. I meant the expression was cute.
Me: Yeah, but the expression was on my face, and my face is a representation of me, hence, you are saying that I am cute.
Yokie: If you insist that you want to be labeled as ugly but adorable... Sure~~

Ahah. So random.

Roomie wanted.

LOOKING FOR SINGAPOREAN ROOM MATE FOR SEMESTER 1, 2009/2010!!!

P.S.: Before you guys get too excited, may I add that I'm only looking for females.

Chem.

“Science without religion is lame; religion without science is blind.”

-Albert Einstein-

I don't see why science and religion can't walk hand in hand; in fact, I think both of them actually verify each other in some strange way.

At the very least, it was God Himself who created science, anyway.

I've got this Chemistry quiz tomorrow, and it's times like these when I'd question "WHY THE HELL DID GOD HAVE TO DECIDE TO CREATE 112 ELEMENTS AND ALLOW THEM TO REACT WITH EACH OTHER IN SO MANY FREAKING CONFUSING WAYS????????"

MSN spam

"I hate MSN spam messages, but I hate the sender more."

-Rachel-

It's funny how I only ever receive phishing spam messages on MSN from three kinds of people:

1. Kids.
You know, those annoying 13-year-olds who think they're oh-so-grown-up and keep trying to talk to you about crap and expects you to amuse them by lowering your intellectual capacity to their level. I usually don't talk to them but if I do, be reminded that it would probably be them who started the conversation first, and I merely replied because I wanted to relieve myself of stress.

They amuse me how they try to act oh-so-grown-up but can't even keep their MSN accounts safe from spam. Probably 'cause their 'innocence' and 'curiosity' prompts them to click on every single link they see.

2. Uneducated people
No, I'm not referring to ALL uneducated people who didn't receive a good education because they were not fortunate enough. I'm referring to those that dropped out of school because they were too dumb to see the importance of education, hence, decided not to study hard when they had the chance to. They're also those who are never in the know and whenever you talk to them about anything at all they'll go "Huh??"

Which probably goes to show the reason why they don't even realize that you SHOULD NEVER simply give your MSN account and password to fake MSN login websites. For obvious reasons.

See, I told you they're dumb.

Here's an example of a fake MSN login website. I trust that my readers are not dumb enough to actually give their MSN e-mails and passwords. If you do, screw you, idiot.

3. People I utterly disrespect.
You'll know them when you see them. They usually smoke, gamble, insert swear words in every other word they say, get into fights, join gangs, sport tattoos, spend more time at the internet cafe than they do at home, and probably do not have a purpose in life. 50% of them didn't make it to high school graduation. Those who did probably scraped through.

Unbeknowst to them (or maybe they are aware of it but they just don't give a damn), their porn website preferences are being made known to every single person on their MSN lists. Yes, you guessed it. Through MSN spam messages.

Usually, after about a week of putting up with this kind of nonsense 20 times a day, I proceed to block them because really, I don't see the point of talking to people who are of low intellectual capacities.

You can now proceed to hate me for discriminating.

But really, didn't these people once had a chance to make the right choices in life?

PC to Mac

"It's annoying that I can't type as fast as I think."

-Rachel-

Oh. Mi. Gosh.

You know how PC is always more fucked up than Mac?

Apparently, Microsoft is very aware of this and thus, have inserted a sort of 'cheat' into the Windows Vista (yes, all you Vista users. We have been using Vista for such a long time and nobody said anything about it!!), enabling the user to change the Vista user interface and desktop into Mac style. Complete with the classic bar at the bottom where icons get magnified every time you roll your cursor over them.

I find that very amusing.

I wonder why I didn't find out about this till now.

Being the generous blogger I am, I shall now tell you how I magically changed my old Windows look into a brand new Mac.

1. Log onto your administrator user account.
2. Create a new password for it which says "pctomac".
3. Restart your computer and log onto your administrator account using your new password.
4. Click on the Start icon at your taskbar and click on control panel while holding onto ctrl+alt+Q.
5. Once your control panel window has been opened, switch it to classic view and search for an icon which looks like a silver apple with the name Mac_COM.
6. Click on it, wait for your computer to reboot, and VOILA!!!!

Yes, I know. I couldn't believe it myself!!! I have been using Vista for AGES and NOBODY told me about this!!!!!!



UPDATE: You might want to read the comments of this post before trying out.

UPDATE 2: Don't get too disappointed though; here's a link that may (hopefully) make your PC look a bit more Mac-ish.