Thursday 30 August 2007

Type this sentence with your eyes closed

First trial:
typr this sentence with tour eyes ckised

Second trial:
thpe this sentence with youe eues closed

Third trial:
thpe this sentence with your eyes closed

Fourth trial:
thpr this sentence with your eues closed

Fifth trial:
thte thos sentence with your eies closed (Dammit, this has so many mistakes)

Sixth trial:
type this sencence with your eues closed ('sencence'? What was I thinking?)

Seventh trial:
type this sentence woth your eieis closed (Damn this is so frustrating)

Eighth trial:
thpe this sentence woth your eues closed (Wth is wrong with me?)

Ninth trial:
typethis sentence woth your eues closed

Tenth trial:
type this sentence with yoir eies closed (....)

Final trial:
type this sentence with yoir eies closed

DAMMIT, I GIVE UP!

I can never be a typing pro. The best I could do was the third trial, where I made only one mistake. I don't know what made me do this, anyway. It's a waste of time and I'm getting myself more and more frustrated. Why am I challenging myself to type perfectly?

Forget it. For some unknown reason, I realise that I have been doing lots of thinking lately. And after going through this period of time, I finally realise that ignorance is bliss. I don't want to know what's going to happen to my social life. I don't want to care if my social life will be ruined. I don't want to care what people think of me. 'Cause when I start thinking of all these, I begin to wonder if I'm really happy after all. Having lots and lots of friends, does it really make me happy?

All I see right now is emptiness. Complete vanity.

Therefore, I don't want to think of these anymore. I'd rather read a novel or watch TV, drowning myself in another world, to escape reality. I know it isn't right, to avoid reality like this. But life is too harsh. I can't bear to face it. Every time I do, I break down. I just can't.

My apologies for being moody today. I haven't been myself lately. And BBS (Blogger's block Syndrome) is back so I can't do much typing.

So sorry.

Sunday 26 August 2007

Idle

I was idle for the whole day. Man, it was pure bliss. I haven't been feeling this relaxed for such a long time.

Yeah, I know. The idle mind is the works of the evil. Or something like that.

Just so you know, I'm not evil. But I love being bad at times. You see, there isn't much difference in being good or bad. If you're good, people take advantage of you. Sure, some people may like you for being good; but honestly, how many people would love a goody-goody two shoe? Being bad isn't that bad after all (pun unintended). You get the respect you need, you don't get stepped on by others, and people will actually like you. And you get lots of friends. And you don't get caught doing bad stuff. Really. If you're not pure evil, nobody actually cares about catching you. Of course, unless they hate you. That's where the tricky part comes in.

It's actually pretty easy to handle your enemies. You could counter their attacks by exposing their bad deeds if they so much as to dare to interfere with your plans. What if they are nice people who don't do bad stuff? you may ask. Well, you obviously missed a point here. If they're really good people , they wouldn't hate you now, would they?

Alternatively, you could make them one of you. Or make yourself one of them. Either way, it's a win-win situation. Its good to have more people on your side anyway.

Or, if they're too much of a threat, just kill 'em off.

Just kidding.

Anyway, back to the main topic. Being idle. Yeah, my mind was pretty much blank for the whole day. I woke up this morning feeling awfully sleepy. Bleary eyed, I stumbled to the bathroom for a nice long hot shower. Man, that was good. All I could remember was the warm water on my back. And the sweet smelling strawberry flavored body shampoo from Body Shop. Pure bliss.

Then, off to church. It went pretty fine. We shared about putting our leisure time to good use. So that our leisure time wouldn't go to waste; so that we could spend it doing something meaningful. Interesting. I always learn something at church. It's good therapy and it helps clear my mind.

Then, lunch. As usual, I wasn't really hungry (I dunno why, I'm never hungry nowadays) but I forced the food into my mouth all the same. My parents, especially my dad, would ask me tons and tons of questions if I so much as did something out of the ordinary. For example, not eating when it's meal time. I'd rather torture myself with food than to endure the endless questions.

"Why are you not hungry?"

"Did you eat anything earlier?"

"Are you feeling unwell?"

"if not, then why aren't you hungry?"

"Are you sure you didn't eat too much for breakfast?"

And it doesn't stop there. After a few hours, my dad would tell me he is going out and would ask if I wanted anything to eat. "No," I'd say, but he'd buy the food anyway.

"Eat a little, because you haven't eaten anything at all."

Didn't I tell him I didn't want any food? Why did he buy it then?

When this happens, I either force myself to eat a little, or I insist on not eating at all.

I keep diverting from the main topic. Being idle.

After lunch, I sat in front of the computer, watching Ichigo 100% on crunchyroll.com.

And that is what I have been doing up till now.

I have class tomorrow. Further math. Damn.

Friday 24 August 2007

Relieved!!!!!!!!!!

My feelings are so mixed up.

1. Dammit, I'm so super relieved that my trials are finally OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. I'm bored 'cause I've got so many stuffs to do that I don't know what to do first.
3. Frustrated because I'm deprived of cash. AGAIN!
4. Happy - just went shopping with my besties!!! Love you guys!
5. Disappointed due to the fact that I totally flunked my Physics exam today.
6. I'm really, really, really proud of myself for losing weight (OMG, I'M SO PROUD OF MY BODY RIGHT NOW!!! SUPER SLIM WITH ZERO FATS AT MY TUMMY!).

I had so many things on my to-do list. Now that I'm super free, I don't know what to do first.

1. Update my blog.
2. Play Maple.
3. Read the novel I bought today.
4. Play 'Dynasty Warriors' and 'Need For Speed' on my PSP.
5. Watch Jigoku Shoujo drama series.
6. Give my blog a lil 'face-lift'.

Now that I've listed them out, I feel much better. I love being organized.

My trials are OVER, OVER, OVER! No more studying till my head explodes! No more feeling guilty for playing PSP instead of studying! No more getting awfully stressed out for not being able to finish studying on time after wasting time on my PSP!

The past one week was torture. Pure torture.

Friday.
I knew I had to study. But I went for prom instead. Which was a huge mistake. The food there sucked, I didn't win any of the lucky draws, I didn't get a date, and I couldn't attend their 'after-prom' because I had to study. When I arrived home, I couldn't do much studying after all because my head was throbbing like hell and my eyes were super dry. Not to mention, my feet were aching from the heels I wore. I should train myself to wear them more often. But I just can't live without my comfy sneakers...

Saturday and Sunday.
Study, study, study. Threw in a little bit of 'PSP time' and 'TV time'.

Monday.
I set my phone alarm to 10 a.m. the night before. However, when it rang, I kept snoozing it till 11 a.m. . Oh no. Further Math. I was so worried. But it went okay. At least I could solve some of the problems, although I did skip a few. I think at the very least, I can get a pass.

Tuesday to Thursday.
According to professionals, there are times when the human mind forces itself to forget a traumatic event, resulting the person to have no recollection of what happened. All I can remember right now, is that I suffered a horrible nightmare during those four days.

Friday.
This morning, I woke up with a headache. I pretty much flunked Physics exam. Fortunately, Physics is all about explanations and calculations. Whenever I came across a question which I couldn't answer (which was almost all of the time), I just scribbled whatever I could. Common sense helps, sometimes. For calculations, I just reproduced the numbers provided in a different and more creative way.

For example,
Question: Given that the potential difference is 2V and the current is 4A. Find the resistance.

Lets say I don't know how to calculate the resistance. What do I do? There are a few ways that the two numbers can be summed up to get a new value:

The resistance could be 2 x 4 = 8

Or, 2/4 = 0.5

Or, 4/2 = 2.

Or, 2 + 4 = 6

You get the idea.

All I have to do is pick any one of the methods and pray that it is the correct one.

For questions which need explanations like this one,
Question: Explain why the final energy is less than the initial energy.

I just use common sense:
1. Energy is lost through heat.
2. Energy is used to do work.

Or, if you have no idea what the question is talking about, you could just rephrase the question:
1. The final energy is less than the initial energy because there is a loss in energy.
2.The final energy is less than the initial energy because the initial energy is more than the initial energy.

That's how I managed to finish my Physics paper. Hey, at least I answered every question, right? Better than leaving the answer blank.

I'm so proud of myself.

Enough about exams and shit. Today I went shopping. Caught a movie. Omg, stuff are so expensive nowadays. I brought around RM 120 with me and now I'm left with RM 15.

My money bought me:
1. A novel and liquid paper from Popular - RM 40
2. Movie ticket - RM 5 (with student card)
3. Lunch at Manhattan Fish Market - RM 30
4. Digi reload card - RM 30

And then, my money was all gone.

Damn, damn, damn.

But overall, it was fun. Its good therapy for me after all that studying (and PSP-ing).

Oh, another thing. I feel so slim! I have always thought I was fat, but today I felt so confident and proud of myself!

Oh, no, I didn't go on a diet. It's just that for the past one month, I have beem very, very depresed (and I mean really depressed to the point where you feel like it's a torture to be alive and you just wish you were dead) and I totally lost my appetite. Imagine not consuming food for a whole month. Of course I became thinner. And I'm happy. At least my depression wasn't all that bad. Something good came out of it and I'm thankful for that.

Hmm....

I remember there was something else I wanted to blog about, but I can't seem to recall it.

Oh, well. For now, I'm gonna enjoy myself. Maybe hold a small celebration with my shadow. Or curl up in bed with my book. Or play my PSP. Or go Mapling.

My trials are finally over. Happy, happy, joy, joy!

=)

Saturday 4 August 2007

Apology

I realise that I haven't been updating my blog for a very long time. I'm so sorry. My trial exam is coming very soon. I don't think I will be updating my blog from now on until my exams are over. Please bear with me. I promise I will be back asap.

P.S. Aphrodite, you will never get my phone number. Even if you do get it, what can you do to me? Well, that's how life is. Sometimes people just hate you. =)

Happy days.