Friday, 22 May 2009

Still not good.

"vin升@ntu is fucking happy now...yeah!!! yahoooo"
-Vincent's MSN personal message-

It doesn't help that EVERYONE ELSE is celebrating over their results of GPA 4.0 and above except for me.

Yes, I'm still moping over my grades.

Worst of all, my mum thinks I'm not studying hard enough, I didn't try hard enough, I was playing too much, that I've not been concentrating n my studies, yadda, yadda, yadda.

It's just too bad if she doesn't have the chance to see me crying because I was too stressed out over my studies, and not having the chance to see me studying my ass off till I almost had an emotional breakdown (see that, ma? I almost had an EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN, if that isn't enough for you), and I was nice enough to lie to my parents that I'm coping well enough because I didn't want them worrying about me, but why the fuck did she have to actually think NEGATIVELY OF ME??

As if I'm not hating myself enough already because of my stupidity (yes, I'm stupid, how else could I have gotten a FUCKING GRADE C for my Physics?), my parents are making it worse.

To K: So much for promising to tutor me to get a GPA of 4.0. I guess you did try your best, but I was too dumb for you, huh?

To A/P Rusli: About two weeks before our exams, you mentioned before, "I expect you guys to be prepared by now. However, if you haven't, there is still hope. Try doing the past years, with the help of your lecture notes, and you should be able to get a pass." (To which I replied, "Har!! Pass only ah...", and he smiled at me). Well, guess what? I guess I let you down. I was prepared, I knew my stuff, and I completed all the past years with minimal reference to my lecture notes, and all I got was a lousy pass.

I thought a pass was what unprepared students would expect to get? I was prepared! I fucking studied! As hard as hell, too!

Most of all, I let myself down.

I'm fucking, fucking, fucking stupid.

I wish I could just fucking die.

I'm the dumbest person in the whole wide world.

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