The following involves partial private details and personal relationships. Some parts are either edited or omitted to protect the privacy of the said people in this post. However, for the reading pleasure of my beloved readers, I'll try to put in as much information and to be as honest as possible.
About 2 years ago, I met this guy, Su*. We sort of knew about each other's existence, but it wasn't until a year later that we became friends. Eventually, we got so close to the point that in my social circle, I put him on par with my best girl friends whom I stuck with, through thick and thin.
We were happy together and I must say, despite our differences (having the habit of unjustly discriminating people and being over-judgemental, I had to put in extra effort - mind you, it could be hard at times - in over looking his, uh, differences, as one would call it), I enjoyed his company. We helped each other out, frequented each others' homes, went to the movies, and hung out together. We even shared special language codes one leh!!!! I always thought that he'd share the mutual cherishing of the friendship.
How awfully wrong I realised I have been.
A few months back, he continued his tertiary education. In another place.
Out of sight, out of mind.
No calls, no text messages, no e-mails, no nothing.
To date, we have only communicated only twice through MSN.
And on both occasions, I messaged him first.
The first one went something like this (from what I can remember):
Me: Hi!!! How's uni life? Long time no see. Did you miss me?
After about half an eternity...
Me: How are you? Missing us back in Penang?
Him: Fine. But it's too early to be missing home yet.
Me: So you'll miss me in the months to come?
I forgot what he replied, but I don't remember him saying yes.
After that, I tried talking to him a little more, but he didn't seem interested.
Don't you find it annoying when you try to strike up a conversation with people online, only to find them replying every ten minutes or so, with only two-syllable grunts at most?
Me: *chatter, chatter, chatter*
Other person: Uhuh.
Me: *chatter, chatter, chatter*
Other person: Yes.
Me: *chatter, chatter, chatter*
Other person: Ah...
At this point, I normally get the hint and stop the conversation altogether.
And so, I discontinued the conversation.
Correction. I was on the verge of discontinuing the conversation. But Su took the lead. He stopped replying my messages first, before I did.
Hey, wasn't that supposed to be my move?
Okay lar, maybe he was busy or something, but still. Couldn't he at least seem more enthusiastic when talking to me? I'm his friend leh!
Apparently, he had forgotten that for the past one year, we had been spending a huge portion of our time together.
And ever since that interaction (that wasn't considered a proper conversation), I didn't hear from him anymore.
A few weeks ago, I sent him a text message. He never did reply.
When asked his sister the reason, she told me that according to him, "Somethings' wrong with my cell phone. Can't reply text messages to some people."
More like "a certain un-randomly chosen person" to me.
Talked to Mil* (a mutual friend of Su's and mine) the other day. He also complained about how Su hasn't contacted him ever since he left for university, despite the fact that they were best friends ever since they were in primary school.
A few days back, I sent Su another message in MSN.
Some of the words were in our code language, but I've translated them into comprehensive words for your reading pleasure:
Me: How long have you not been contacting me? Lousy friend.
Yes, I was reprimanding him. I wasn't going to be patient with him anymore, drowning myself in the delusion that one day he'd magically remember that we'd once been friends.
Him: I've returned your book. Sorry for the wait.
I borrowed him my favourite books during our 'friendship days' and I almost forgot to claim them back. I'm supposed to get them back from his sister. Of whom, I've also built very slight resentment towards. For a reason. If you want to know, ask me personally.
Me: Useless, lousy friend. Where did you disappear to for the past two months?
I fucking know you're at your fucking uni. I didn't mean that question literally, and you know it.
Me: Go uni, forget old friends liao la!
Him: You're a teacher now, right? How's teaching? Did your students bully you?
Me: Wait, wait. I'll answer your questions later. I want to give you a big piece of my mind first.
Him: How big?
Dumbass, still pretending to be oblivious about my annoyance towards his attitude.
Me: You ar!!! Go uni then stop contacting people liao. Even Mil complained!
Me: Out of sight, out of mind, is that it?
Him: So what... ;) (yes, he really did give me that smiling emoticon). Told you I'm not sentimental.
Oh, so now you're blaming it on your natural, in-born unsentimentalness.
Me: Give me a good reason for your prolonged absence.
Him: Absence from what?
You know very well where your absence is. Stop acting dumb. Oh, wait. Maybe you really are, when it comes to relationships.
Me: You know what I mean.
Him: Why would I need to give you a reason? I'm not your student.
For fuck's sake, you'd give me a reason if you still took me as your friend.
Me: Hmph. So do you still remember my name, then?
Him: Uh, Who are you?
Countering sarcasm with more sarcasm.
Me: See! Go uni forget my name liao. Do you still remember who is Mil, then?
Him: But of course.
Me: Why do you still remember Mil but not me?
Him: Who are you?
Me: I'm the pretty one.
Him: How can I forget when I don't know who you are?
Me: That's pretty much the point of forgetting, isn't it? To not remember you knew that person and therefore you think that you never knew her.
Him: Es tut mir lied, ich weiss nicht was sie versprechen.
Stop it before I explode.
Me: Apparently, my comprehension has suddenly gone down a steep hill and disappeared.
Him: Sou desu ne.
I said, stop it before I explode.
Me: Or maybe its just that you're speaking in a language i don't understand. Which do you think is most likely? Me completely losing my ability to comprehend or you speaking in a foreign language ON PURPOSE to confuse me?
As you can see, I was still trying my very best to strike up a conversation with him.
WTF??? I'll pretend you didn't say that.
Me: So how are you?
See, I'm still being nice to you despite the fact that I so feel like strangling you. You'd better appreciate it.
Him: Fine whatsoever. Bugs on the breeze, rain's on the by and by.
I'm not interested in knowing the condition of your living place or the weather there. You could live in a pig's sty for all I care. I want to know about YOU; not the environment around you.
Me: Skip the literal parts.
Maybe you could tell me more about your life in university. How you're coping with the new environment, new experiences, etc.
Him: Fine whatsoever. You?
Me: Same as usual.
Of course, not taking into account that I'm facing major stress at work, tackling new challenges, trying very hard not to fall in love, undergoing a wardrobe makeover, and beginning to put on make-up. But I guess you don't need to know about that, since you don't seem interested in talking to me anyway.
That pretty well concluded the end of our conversation.
And he still didn't give me a satisfactory answer as to why he stopped contacting me.
I sooooooo regret giving him that awfully, awfully cute Keroppi key chain souvenir from Japan, which cost me about 20 freaking bucks. I bet it's all black and dirty and forgotten and abandoned in a corner of his room, because his books are the ones that will determine his future, not some stupid, girlish key chain. And definitely not friendship.
I swear, I'm never talking to him ever again.
Don't blame me. I've already tried my very best to save the friendship.
Even when we were friends, he was selfish (that would be another story; ask me personally if you're interested), immature, and still depended quite heavily on his parents when it came to decision-making.
He was a mama's boy.
That's be perfectly fine with me, if only I didn't have so much resentment towards mama's boys, because they seem to include their mother into every single aspect of their life.
Also, lots of other stuff not appropriate being mentioned here. Again, ask me if you're interested in knowing.
I don't even fucking care if Su were to come across this. He probably won't anyway, because he's more into chim stuff.
My blog is too superficial for his high-standards.
*Names have been changed to protect the privacy of the persons involved.