Wednesday 30 May 2007

Ants

Yesterday, I felt hungry and I ate one of my mother's Ferrero Rocher. Little did I know that the little bratty ants in my room were craving for them too.

As much as I love the chocolate layers on the outside, I loathe the little nut in the middle. I popped the whole thing into my mouth but after swallowing all the chocolate, I spit out the ball of nut and carefully wrapped it back in the wrapper. There. Good as new. It looked a little smaller than before though....

I didn't want to throw it into my trash bin in my room because if I did, a few moments later I would see troops of ants marching towards it. Besides, my rubbish bin is only for mucus-filled Kleenaxes, useless pieces of papers, and my sanitary napkins (used ones, of course). However, I was way too lazy to walk all the way to the kitchen just to throw away a piece of nut wrapped in gold foil.

There was only one option left. Since I couldn't throw it into my trash can and I was too lazy to walk all the way to the kitchen, I just left it on my study table, where I continued to build castles in the air.

I guess I had been pretty productive, because when I turned to look at the wrapper, I had already studied (while still building castles) for a whole hour. And the ants were pretty hardworking, too. They had already reached the nut.

There was a line of ants marching to and fro from it. I made a huge mistake. I picked up the wrapper to kill the line of ants but when I dropped the wrapper back down on the table the ants began to crawl out from inside the wrapper.

ARRGH!!!!

The pool of ants grew bigger and bigger until its radius was about two inches long. Imagine my horror. I didn't know what to do so I acted on impulse. I quickly grabbed my bottle of nail polish remover (which I bought at a blood-sucking price of RM 12.90) and poured it all over the ants. They died instantly.

And there goes my RM 12.90.

When ants die, you normally see their body still solid and intact, although at times they curl up into balls. It's a little different when you pour nail polish remover on them. They die instantly, almost like magic. And they become soft and squishy. Lembik, you could call it.

No, I definitely did not touch them to know that they literally became pulp at the instant they come into contact with nail polish remover. I used a tissue paper to wipe them off my table.

Correction. Not a tissue paper, but loads of tissue.

You could see blobs of red on the tissue after wiping them off. Yuck. I hate ants. Especially dead ones, because their body could rot any moment. Live ones are okay, because you could kill them off and dispose them to make sure they never come back.

But the dead ones give me goosebumps. You will never know where their corpses are, and therefore, you are at risk of having their dead bodies coming into contact with yours, which is awfully disgusting.

The worst is when ants die on your body, because even if you wiped them off, there is a possibility that parts of their body might still stick onto your skin. Eww.

I noticed a brown stain on my exam timetable yesterday. At a glance, it looks like I smeared chocolate onto it. If you look closer, you can see that it's actually a dead ant. Its' legs were a millimetre apart from its body and its ass (the part of the ant which is black) was disconnected from its squished body.

Yuck.

I can imagine how it got there. While it was happily strolling on my table, my arm must have accidentally pressed it flat onto the paper. I must have been concentrating hard on my work at that moment, when my arm would sub-consciously rub up and down on any surface it was in contact with. And at that time, it was that piece of paper.

Double yuck.

These days, I constantly find ants crawling on my phone. I suspect these ants come from inside my phone. I try hard not to think of them every time I put my phone close to my ear.

I suspect the ants favor me more than anybody else.

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