Thursday, 4 November 2010

No wonder adults keep telling me life is short. Life is short, when you're working.

Contemplation seems to be about the only luxury that costs nothing.
-Dodie Smith -

Note: Crappy meaningful-like-but-not-very-insightful-in-fact-it's-damn-shitty-now-that-I've-re-read-it blog entry ahead. You've been warned.

I'm becoming this superficial and shallow female who doesn't give a damn about deep thoughts.

(I've recently resorted to calling myself a female coz I'm currently in that phase in life where you don't know whether you're a girl or a woman - hey, that's a deep thought!)

Or maybe it's just that I've been contemplating on small, individual thoughts, those nitty gritty bits worth mentioning on Twitter, but not enough for a blog post.

Or maybe I'm just lazy to pour my thoughts out.

Or maybe it's updating Twitter is waaayy more convenient.

See? Twitter is damaging the true potential Blogger could achieve.

I'm rambling again.

Gahhhh I'm becoming this superficial female who only updates her blog with material stuff and shoes and clothes and gadgets and shopping trips and foods and whateverissuperficial rather than real stuff. You know, thoughts. Contemplations. Stuff I used to blog about back when... waaay back.

Growing up and earning your own money and working and not studying and not having a life destroys your inner self, the part of you which still thinks deep thoughts are insightful/romantic/meaningful/etcetcetc.

I have to get out of Industrial Attachment ASAP.

Ever since I started IA, things have changed. It's been only 4 months now (OMG TWO MORE MONTHS TO FREEDOM!) but I feel like IA has changed me. How it managed, I don't know.

It's like, before I started, I was sooooo extremely excited to be able to finally gain some working experience in a real company as a real engineer (okay, half-engineer) coz - let's face it - being a temp secondary school teacher doesn't count as a real job. No, not dissin' school teachers out there, just sayin'. Besides, IA is different. You get to work in a real industrial-involved company, not some sappy school where everyone tells you (or in my case, as a teacher, I tell everyone) to obey the rules, study hard, yadda yadda.

So when I first started, things were going pretty smoothly, till work came in. I was this stressed, confused little insignificant intern (actually, I still do think I'm an insignificant intern, but at least I have gained experience) whose job is to keep out of everyone else's way and does her paper work well.

Then, my first month's pay came in and I got excited and got carried away by shopping and spending and buying ipods.

(The unfortunate incident still haunts me and forever will . I've implemented a strict no-liquids-in-my-bag rule ever since that... that *thing* happened to me.)

Went for movies every weekend (Kevin and I implemented a at-least-one-movie-per-weekend policy - and that means going to the movies, not renting some DVD's for home movie) till one fine Saturday night, we were at Cathay Cineplex looking at movie posters when we realized "shit, we're run out of movies to watch."

We've stopped going for movies ever since. Allow some time for movies to accumulate before we go on a movie marathon again.

So anyways, three months later I decided that I had had enough. I stopped spending abruptly and started keeping track of my expenses.

Damn, it was hard.

Who knew keeping track of your spending would be so stressful?

I felt like I was putting unnecessary restrictions on my spending habits and I hated it.

So anyways, last week I screwed that plan. I gave myself a compromise. I'll spend whenever I feel like it, provided I don't overdo it.

So speaking of change, yes, I've changed into this superficial and shallow female who doesn't contemplate anymore but rather, spends her time calculating how much money to spend and how much to save and what new toy to buy.

Also, I've changed my perspective on working life.

I always knew I'd loathe working life and wished uni life was forever, but I didn't know how much I actually hated it till I experienced it.


You work, and you work, and you work, and you have no life.

Time flies so fast, a month feels like a week and half a year feels like a month or two.

I know time flies but I never knew it could go this fast. No wonder adults keep telling me life is short. Life is short, when you're working.

I can't wait to get back to studying. I miss that crazy stressful moments where you wanna breakdown and cry coz you cant understand a word your lecturer is saying. I miss those times where you spend sleepless nights studying and cramming for an upcoming quiz. I miss those times we'd be dissin' a lecturer coz of his weird accent. I miss freaking out coz exam's a week away. I miss being a student. 

Okays, I guess contemplation's done here, time to watch How I Met Your Mother!! SEASON SIX IS OUT AND IMMA HAPPY HAPPY GURL!!

Will leave the calling myself a female (i.e. unsure whether to call self a girl or a woman) till next time, when I feel like talking about it.

For now, feeling proud of self for being able to belt out a somewhat 'contemplatious' blog entry (albeit being crappy), after all those superficial ones.

P.S.: A superficial sidenote: up to date, I have collected 5 Tama figurines, and I am finally eligible for my secret special item!! I know I'm childish, sue me.

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