English in Malaysia. The absurdity of it all

Watched Disney On Ice last Saturday.

Enjoyed it thoroughly. It was money well spent.

The guy playing Peter Pan was like SO SUPER HOT AND GORGEOUS!!!!!

I LOVE HIM!!!!

One look at his charming smile melts my heart.

I want him, I want him, I want him.

*kicks Kevin off the list*

Lol.

My favourite female character was Lilo. From Lilo and Stitch.

Lilo was a cutie. Unfortunately, Stitch wasn't all that adorable, like how we see it on TV. Instead of being all round and short and irresistibly cute, it was huge (a little taller than the other characters) and was shaped more like a grizzly bear instead of... well... Stitch himself.

Ugly, ugly, ugly.

BUT I LOVE PETER PAN!!!!

*drools*

***

There was this short meeting at school today, which involved all the Math and Science teachers.

Matter of discussion: The usage of English when conducting Science and Math lessons.

"There have been students who are complaining that some teachers still do not conduct the lesson in English."

Yeah, like it's my fault that the students stare blankly at me even when I converse in the simplest English.

"So our target is to conduct all Science and Math lessons fully in English by year 2010."

As I see it, my English is perfectly fine (heck, it's way above perfect, if you asked me). Sadly, that's not the case for some of my students.

If I were to conduct my Science lessons fully in English, more than half my students wouldn't understand what the heck I'm rambling on about.

"So I request that from now onwards, all teachers conduct their lessons in English."

Okaaaay... If you say so...

So do not blame me if all of them fail in their exams.

Apparently, our Malaysian government expects us teachers to possess a really, really, really bad command of English (even our own government has such low expectations. Can you imagine how fucking, fucking lousy the standard of English in our country is?) , because they even have this Self Learning computer programme thingy, especially for teachers to improve their English.

And they even have this Buddy System. It works this way.

A teacher (who supposedly possesses a good command of English) will be the 'buddy' to a group of other Math and Science teachers to 'help' them whenever they have any difficulties conducting the lesson in English. Or to give assistance in any problems regarding the oh-so-complicated English language.

Personally, I think my English is good enough. Better than my "buddy's", I dare say.

And they have this form where each Math/Science teacher has to fill in. To analyse the standard of English proficiency among teachers.

They ask questions like "Is your spoken English good enough to convey a message efficiently?"

For a moment, one may even think that English is some sort of new and foreign language to Malaysia. Like how French is to the Japanese. Or how Spanish is to the Orang Utans. You get the idea.

And then, you can even see questions this:

Write the number of times a month in which you use the following methods to improve your command of English:
☐ Dictionaries
☐ Internet access
☐ Journals/Magazines/Newspapers
☐ Library resources
☐ Other reading materials

Okay... So how do I answer this one?

I do read magazines, visit the library, and use the Internet (this, I proudly say, I do everyday without fail) but I don't think I do it to improve my command of English.

It's.. well, you know, just for leisure.

And they say I'm supposed to answer the questions honestly.

Being an honest person, I put '0' in all the boxes.

Then, there was this question:

What grade did you achieve for your English Language in your SPM examinations?

Uh, I got an A.

Duhhhhhh.

I have a feeling they're gonna have a hard time believing me.

You never do anything to improve your command of English yet you got an A for your English?

If our government can't trust us teachers to teach (not that they're to blame), why not just hire professionals from other countries?

Better than having us fill in long, boring, and tedious questionnaires.

Oh, wait. I forgot. We're not a rich country. We can't afford that.

Hahahaha.

Sorry.

I just can't help but laugh at the standard of English in our country.

The absurdity of it all.