deep then, shallow now.

"Sometimes I want to be 'deep', but when i get too deep, I start to confuse myself and then I give up. It's this feeling where you want to say something, but you cant say it coz its too confusing and too deep and by the time u get halfway through saying it, u forgot what was it you wanted to say in the first place."

-Rachel-

When I was younger, people always asked me, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

To which, I had a series of replies, which of course grew more and more aspiring (and more realistic, of course) as I grew up.

When I was 7, I wanted to be a doctor. Coz my mother said, "Study hard, get into a university, and become a doctor. It's very difficult to become a doctor; only smart people get to become doctors. However, doctors earn a lot of money."

I wanted to be a doctor because I wanted to get rich.

At 8, I wanted to be a bride. With the beautiful, flowing gown and sweet-smelling flowers.

At 9, I wanted to be a singer. You know, like Britney Spears or Spice Girls.

At 10, I wanted to be a business woman, earning big bucks.

At 13, I wanted to be a scientist. The one who replaces Newton's photograph in historical science books.

At 14, I wanted to be a preacher. Love God, work for Him.

At 15, I wanted to be a lawyer. I loved arguing.

By 17, I wanted to be a university student. The one who's only real job is to study, socialize, and have fun. I guess I finally realized that having a real occupation isn't that pleasurable after all.

Of all the occupations I'd once contemplated about, never once did I tell myself, "I want to be an engineer."

I thought engineers were boring people who dealt with... uh... stuff. Boring stuff. Though technically, I didn't know what stuff they usually dealt with.

Guess what?

Here I am, in university, studying Mechanical Engineering, the thing I least had interest in during my childhood days.

So, right now, at 19, what would I want to be when I grow up (or rather, 3 years from now)?

Honestly, I don't know.

An engineer, maybe?