Raedarling: jobless and uneducated

Tuesday, 25 January 2011

jobless and uneducated

Errr Straits Times your latest app version has the noisiest (and cheesiest) notification sound ever. Your sound designer must be fired.

-Terry Mun, Facebook-

I am aware this is only my 3rd entry of the entire month. Which means on average, I'm blogging only once a week.

Sorry peeps.

School has started and...

I'm just not in the mood anymore.

Of course, it has always been hard dragging my lazy ass out of my comfort zone in Penang after long periods of vacations and coming back to Singapore to face hardships all over again, but this time, it's just different.

This time, it's plain hard-core slothfulness and not just some inner-self childish bratty retaliation merely whining about school; it's this huge deep feeling that I just don't want to go back to school. Ever.

This feeling was so hard-core and dark that it scared even me. I think it's probably because of my 6-month internship with ExxonMobil that's making me feel awfully lazy to continue with my studies, not when I'm paid good money every month to sit around at the office all day from 8 to 5.

Soooo. First day of school.

I'ts finally the THIRD YEAR OF MY UNDERGRADUATE STUDIES!!

EVERYTHING went wrong.

I didn't get enough sleep, I looked fat in my jeans, my printer was broken and I couldn't print my notes, so I had to go to the library to print my notes - no coloured notes for me this semester!!! Can you imagine how horrible it is studying from B&W notes?? Ohhh, the horror!! - my jeans felt tight (gah), and library didn't open till 8.30a.m., which, coincidentally, is also the time my first lecture starts.

I was 30 minutes late for the first class of the first day of school. Nice way to start the semester.

4 hours of lecture plus 3 ten-minute breaks in between. It was hell. The lecture theatre was too cold (despite me wearing long pants and a jacket) and half way through, I got sleepy and fell asleep.

Gah. If you guys didn't know better, I may just be mistaken for a freshman ranting about culture shock and whatnots.

I know I promised some photos and at least a short blog post on my previous trip to the Penang Botanical Gardens alongside with my "photography with nature", but I'm just not in the mood now.

I wished I was back in Penang, in my blissful jobless and uneducated state.

Abrupt ending accentuates the sad condition of this short blog post.

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Everything you should know.

I live in a modern city called Singapore. I believe that what you do does not determine who you are.

I love pink, ice cream, movies, computer games, shopping, designer bags, and all gadgets and gizmos.

I am someone who lives in the moment. Some people may view me as the type who is carefree, nonchalant and not generally concerned about my affairs, or as some may put it, a "couldn't-be-bothered" attitude. However, the truth is that when I am put under pressure, I tend to hide my true feelings of anxiety and panic, and I put on a calm appearance. When faced with problems, I try to put on a strong face and be okay, even though I may not be. I generally try to see the brighter side of things and be happy. This has led to some people assuming that I just don't bother to be concerned about things, while I actually do.

I also enjoy meeting new people and talking to people. I enjoy telling people about myself and sharing my life experiences, as well as listening to their stories. I believe that there is something to learn from everyone, regardless of their age, gender, social background, or status. I feel energized and motivated when I am talking to people, because I know that I can always learn something new from each conversation.

I love digital art and I enjoy sketching on my iPad, though I wished my skills were better. Occasionally, I do pen and paper sketches too. I have an interest in singing and dancing, though I'll have to admit, I don't have much talent for that.

I enjoy curling up in bed with a good book, something I do less often than I should, no thanks to my busy and hectic life.

I am an avid movie goer. While most find it satisfactory to catch a movie once a month, I demand my weekly movie dosage. I have a huge fascination for movies featuring the living, flesh eating dead and I religiously watch every single one of them.

Let them laugh - I hold fast to my principles and values regardless of how others view me.

I continuously remind myself that failing is fun, and that everything is an experience.

I may procrastinate at times, and it is something I am trying to change. My living space can be a little messy at times, and maybe also a little disorganized. I wished I could be more organized than I currently am, and this is also something I am striving to achieve. However, I believe that a little bit of disorganization shows personality and creativity.

People motivate me. However, I can sometimes feel pressured and intimidated by someone whom I regard a higher status than I am, in terms of experience and maturity. With regards to these people, I tend to speak less and listen more, for fear of being ridiculed for saying something shallow. I realize that this is something I need to work on, and I am trying my best to improve my confidence.

I have done things I am not proud of, some of which I'd rather not say. I am not perfect. Sometimes I make bad choices. some may think I'm a bad person, but I don't care. I say what I want to say and I do what I want to do without worrying about what others think.

I aspire everyday to become a better person and I am constantly stiriving to improve myself to be a more confident, independent and courageous woman.