Maid

I haven't been blogging about anything fun or interesting these days. 

Blame it on my monotonous life.

Attended my uncle's wedding. Didn't bother snapping pictures.

Went to Tao (yes, again) with a few friends after that but had a horrible tummy ache so I didn't really enjoy the meal.

And, yes. The staff there remembered me. The loud, childish, nonsensical one. Who (sort of) made a fool out of herself by asking the waiter's number from his waitress girlfriend.

How was I supposed to know they were an item?

***

Went to Sushi King some time ago. This is what happened:

Xing: I want to order Tamago (a kind of Japanese omelet).

Me: Then order lah.

Xing: Err... But what is it called?

*speechless*

*exasperated*

*eye roll*

*HUGE EYE ROLL*

"Hello, Xing. Err... What is your name?"

Can't get any dumber than that.

***

I miss my old maid. She's nice, friendly, and she does her work well. For extra credit, she sometimes even does extra work without being told. 

She's gone back to her hometown. 

=(

While waiting for a new maid, we're having a temporary one.

Who, in my opinion, SUCKS.

Big time.

After two weeks of working here, she has already ruined four items.

She burnt a hole in my father's pants, broke one of the glass decorations, broke the frame of the table fan, and broke the mechanism of the clothes airer (the thing on which you hang your clothes to dry).

All in two weeks.

There was once when I opened the lid of my hamsters' "cubicle" and realised that it was damp with water vapour and hamster pee.

Me: *yuck* Ada tisu tak? (Translated: Do you have tissue paper?)

Maid: Tisu? (Translated: Tissue?)

Me: Ya. *DUH* (Translated: Yeah.)

Maid: Tak ada. (Translated: No.)

The entire time, she was standing there staring at me while I was almost half dead from the stench of hamster poo.

Couldn't she at least make herself useful and grab some tissue for me instead of standing there while I do all the dirty work?

The last time I checked, a maid's job is to help people. 

Why is she supervising me cleaning instead?

So I had to put the lid back on, run to the bathroom for some tissue, and wipe the "yuck" off. All by myself.

And what was the maid doing the entire time?

Watching me. With folded arms.

Okay, I'm not too sure if she had her arms folded at that time, but you get the idea.

Instead of just giving an oh-so-honest "No" to my question, couldn't she at least run and grab some tissue before I died from the awful stench?

At lest that's what my old maid would do.

Pissed.

And ever since this new maid arrived, I've noticed that my wardrobe has reduced to half it's initial size.

I can never find the clothes I want.

Like the time I wanted to wear my white tank top, but I couldn't find it.

I remember putting it in the laundry basket a week ago. After an entire week, you'd expect your clothes to be back in your closet, clean and dry, right?

Apparently not.

I asked the maid where it went, and she gave me her usual ten-second-blank-look before answering my question.

She went to the back yard and pointed.

My white tank top, supposedly put in the laundry basket a week ago, was still hanging out to dry.

ONE WHOLE WEEK MY SHIRT STILL CANNOT DRY ONE AH????

I was super, super, super pissed.

Now I know why my closet seems so empty.

Don't even get me started on my underwear.

I have five pairs of bras.

Two of which, I don't wear anymore because they're a little out of shape. 

That makes it three.

You'd think three bras would be enough, if you wore one each day.

Wash the first, wear the second, and keep the third.

The next day, you wash the second, wear the third, and keep the first.

The next day, you wash the third, wear the first, and keep the second.

And so on and so forth.

Considering how this new maid works, you wouldn't be surprised to find all three bras missing.

Just when you thought you'd like to wear your favourite bra on an important date, you open your closet to find all your favourite bras MISSING. What's left are the two out-of-shape ones. 

Imagine you go out with a guy, then just as he thinks you're The One, his eyes wander to your breasts and realise that they're uneven.

Then how????

What if he was supposed to be The One for me but my uneven breasts scared him away and I became a spinster for life? 

An old maid with nine cats?????

*shudders*

If I cannot get married next time, the maid will be to blame.

You say lah, angry or not?

And then, on the next day when you're not having any important events, all three bras reappear in your closet. 

*fumes*

Another incident:

Me: *pissed* Mana baju dalam saya yang berwarna putih? (Translated: Where is my white underwear?)

Maid: Baju dalam? (Translated: Underwear?)

Me: YA. *DUUUUHHHHHHHH* (Translated: YES.)

And she proceeds to looking for my underwear AMONG MY T-SHIRTS.

Yes, among my T-shirts.

I have a special drawer specially for keeping undies, but she doesn't look in there. Don't ask me why.

Then, I go into my mother's closet, and I found my white bra there.

So I changed into my white bra and put on a white shirt.

Then the maid pointed at the shirt I was wearing and asked me, "Baju ini?"

People ask for baju dalam (underwear) she go and find baju (shirt).

So I took one of my out-of-shape bras and waved it at her. "Saya nak ini. Ini baju dalam. Saya nak putih punya." (Translated: I want this. This is called underwear. I wanted the white one).

She looked at the bra I was holding, and then proceeded to give me the blank ten-second stare.

Flustered, I stormed out.

Dunno why, I was suddenly reminded of the time when I held up a ball to my baby cousin and said to her, "This is a ball. B is for ball. Say, 'ball'."

I was already running late and a stupid white bra made me waste even more time. It definitely didn't help when the maid couldn't see that my breasts were obviously smaller than my mother's (that's just because I'm thinner than my mum, okay!), and that she didn't know what baju dalam was.

Big sized bras belong to my mother, smaller sized ones belong to me.

Simple common sense.

***

Being white, my Nike tote bag is already stained brown in several places.

And I spilled potato chips and popcorn in it.

Didn't help that I kept the bag zipped up for over 24 hours with potato chip crumbs and bits of popcorn inside.

Four days ago, I told my maid to wash it.

This morning, I decided to use it.

I found it in my closet.

*Yay!!! The maid has already cleaned it and kept it back in place! For once, she has done her work efficiently. Not bad...*

After examining it, I recognised some of the brown stains.

I unzipped the bag and saw crumbs of potato chips and popcorn inside.

*kaninabehchaocheebyepukima*