On a final note...

Have you ever been in a relationship that initially was happy but then as the years went by, you found someone else better, the communication got less and less, you stopped telling each other things, you took each other for granted, and no matter how hard you tried to save that relationship you knew that eventually it wouldn't last (despite the lies you constantly tell yourself) and that it would probably be better if you ended the suffering sooner?

It's been a long way.

This blog was founded in 2007, and since then, we've been through a whole lot together. The time when I went into college, the time when my heart was painfully broken into a million pieces, the time I almost failed my A-Levels, the time when I had my first job, the time when I first entered university, the time when I found the love of my life, the time when I first got my internship. My happiness and sorrows, my achievements and failures, my happiest and most depressing moments of my life... All were shared, and it was like my life's journey was etched here, a mark that could stay forever.

I don't know what changed; but I guess sometimes as we grow, our perspective and judgement change with us as we continue to better ourselves by readjusting our goals, ambitions and life's important stuff. As hard as it seems, sometimes, we've got to move on and let go of the past.

Trust me when I say letting go of this blog is one of the most painful and difficult things that I have done in my life. It has been my confidant, friend, and companion for 4 years now, and I thought it would be so much more.

It pains me that our relationship should end here, when I think of my life's journey ahead of me: My graduation day, my first job, my wedding day, my first job promotion, my first car...

My pet's death, my injuries, my sicknesses, my mourning heart, my painful loss of a loved one...

I have always shared everything with my blog but from now onwards, I won't, and that pains me.

Will I ever come back here?

Maybe.

Even though a breakup can be painful at first, but then something magical happens. Time happens and before you know it, you've become your own future and you'll become friends again, maybe catch up with each other on updates in my life...

Who knows? I might drop by for a short visit once in a while. Maybe someday when I graduate, get my dream job, get married, get promoted, or even get a car... Through my happiness I may reminisce of the past and I may come back just for a quick update.

As for now, it's goodbye.

I guess all I can satpy is, it was fun while it lasted, but in the end it becaome more and more of a burdensome responsibility to me rather than being a fun activity.

Though our relationship was short lived, I can proudly say that it was a happy and memorable one which I will remember always.

Raedarlingz, you will not be forgotten.

xoxo

Removal of my braids

I'm not offended by all the dumb-blonde jokes because I know that I'm not dumb. I also know I'm not blonde. 

 ~Dolly Parton

Remember how I did my braids last summer while I was in the States?

You didn't get to see them being made, so at least I'll show you how they're being removed.

It was a painful process. Not only physically painful, but mentally torturing as well, especially when clumps of hair dropped of my own head. 

If you're a fellow female, I'm sure you understand that kind of pain. 

If the video doesn't load, click here to watch directly from Youtube.

The name's Rachel.

"A rose by any other name would sound as sweet."

-William Shakespeare-

It's the 6th academic week already (and recess week is coming real soon omg).

=(

I have not started studying yet!!!

Plus, my FYP progress is zilch.

I try to stay in my room to study, but I somehow always end up doing something else.

Nevermind.

I don't think readers come here to read about my rants anyway.

Hey, I know! Would you like to hear about the stupid ang moh lady who pissed me off a few months ago? Yeah?? That'd seem like something people are generally interested in, right? Listening to the plights of others...

So it was back in May when I went to the US to work and travel (and I'm not even done uploading pictures of them yet. I'm such a procrastinator). Upon arrival, I went to check in to the employees hostel. The HR behind the counter asked us for details like travel documents, passports, stuff like that.

After all that hassle shit, she turned at me and said "What's your name?"

I said "Rachel."

"No, I want your legal name."

"Yeah, it's Rachel."

"No, I don't want any nicknames. I mean, I want your legal name as it is in your passport."

"Yeah, Rachel is in my passport."

"Let me see your passport."

So she takes my passport, reads my name, and keys it into her computer (presumably the employee list).

You could tell from that conversation she was pretty stupid.

Why can't an Asian have a first name as Rachel?? Considering the fact that you're in HR and that's an employees housing quarter where international students come in and out each season, I'm sure you have worked with Asians long enough to know that SOME OF US HAVE FIRST NAMES IN ENGLISH, BIATCH.

So anyway, a few days later was our orientation day and guess who was there to conduct it? Yes, teh biatch.

To make things worse, she had a horrible Southern accent which made listening to her a pain to my ears.

Later, she called our names one by one for the printing of our employee card.

You guessed it. She called me by my chinese name, "Jia Ru" because that's what she apparently had on her employee list. So that probably mean that on the first day when I showed her my passport, she MISSED the "Rachel" on purpose, right? RIGHT???

What, now, just because I'm Asian I can't have an English name? "Jia Ru" is more of a middle name to me, so how would YOU like it if I started calling you by your middle name instead?

Ignoring my name on purpose after seeing it VERY OBVIOUSLY PRINTED on my passport (i.e. A VERY LEGAL DOCUMENT) is just plain effin' disrespectful, that's what I'd say.

In the end, my employee card read "Jia Ru Liew".

When it came to name tag printing, I requested it to be printed as "Rachel", when she conveniently announced: "You may use your nick names on your name tags, but not on official documents, okay?"

Yeah, yeah, just shut the F*** up. 

For the next 6 weeks of work, whenever some ang mohs saw my name tag, they'd go "Is 'Rachel' your real name?", and I'd have to explain the situation to them.

Liew out.

Zzzz...

This is what my boyfriend does when I'm taking a nap.

I can't think straight.

Warning: Do not read if you get easily offended by lame stuff.

I can't think straight.

It's 5 a.m. and I'm still wide awake doing god-knows-what.

Was trying to complete my songs-to-download list (which has been growing longer and longer since 4 months ago), now that I FINALLY have my computer with me, I thought, what the heck, I'll just go and download every single song listed on the "to-download" list.

(I know my grammar probably sucks like shit in this blog entry but please pardon me I ain't thinking straight now; too sleepy you see)

Why did I say "FINALLY" when I said that I had my computer with me?

Been living out of a luggage bag for 4 months now (traveled to the states in May, been living with the same luggage bag since then till now), first time in a very long time that I have a decent place to stay.

For the past 4 weeks, have been homeless; sleeping on the floor, keeping all my worldly possessions only in a luggage bag, studying on the floor, surfing the net using my phone as a wifi router rather than a LAN cable, and using a 9.7 inch screen iPad to surf the net rather than a decent computer, not having even a simple study table or chair for myself.

Pitiful me. You see how NTU treats it's students.

Anyways, after FOUR WEEKS OF TORTURE, NTU finally decides to give me a room *YAY* so you could imagine how happy I was; not that I'm not happy now, I know I'm probably not showing much emotions here cos I'm just too sleepy but trust me, I AM happy.

So this morning I checked my mail and I GOT A ROOM!!! I DON'T HAVE TO BE HOMELESS ANYMORE!!! So I quickly checked in and here I am, in my huge ass room, with my huge ass computer desktop and a bed all to myself. Oh, and air conditioning too.

So now that I've FINALLY managed to download every single song on my "to-download" list (which took me like what - 4 hours?) I guess it's best that I go to bed now considering that its 5 in the morning and I still have lessons tomorrow.

Yes, yes I know this entry is probably gibberish nonsense to you cos I don't even remember what I typed in the first paragraph 5 minutes ago - thats how sleepy I am - so well, I guess I'm not making much sense here.

Reason I'm typing this?

Out of guilt.

I know I've abandoned this blog for some weeks now, but you can't blame me, right? I didn't even have a decent device for long term internet surfing (or whatever you call it, you know an iPad can't replace a good old computer) so as much as I wanted to blog, I couldn't, and now that I have a room, I can so here I am.

Also to kill some time cos I'm waiting for the photo uploads to complete, and then I can shut down my damn computer and finally go to bed.

I guess they're probably done by now lemme go check.

*

Damn it's not done, 2 more minutes left so that leaves me a couple more minutes to type whatever shit I want here till its done.

Speaking of uploading photos, I'm actually uploading photos of my recent visit to the Niagara Falls, and no, I have not forgotten all about it. I know I promised that I would blog about it and I will, just give me some time to sort things out.

Things are getting hectic here, what with Lomolicious (yes that's still going on so who wants a camera, I'll give you a discount if i can) and FYP and tutorials and projects and stuff.

I don't know, life of a Final year student can be fun but...

Okay I know this entry is probably fucked up and you're probably thinking "what the fuck is she saying right now?" its like I'm trying to be witty but I'm not and instead the attempts backfire and I sound lame.

Yeah, yeah, I know whatev.

Sleep.