Pissed off

I am so fucking pissed off.

My mum turned on the TV. I told her I wanted to watch D.I.E. (the new TVB drama series on Astro on Demand). So she flipped the channel to where the latest episode of D.I.E. was showing. They were showing a case about a sex maniac forwarding porn to random people.

I've watched that episode before. It was last Friday's.

Anyway, I didn't mind watching again, so I just sat there.

***

Track back to last Friday...

My mum was watching the latest episode of D.I.E. while I was online.

Suddenly...

A voice from the TV: WAH!!!

I quickly rushed out to see what that was about.

The voice continued: *in Cantonese* Who is this sex maniac who forwarded this porn to my computer????

After that, I watched a little bit more, before going back online.

***

Today.

Voice from TV again: WAH!!!

Cheh. Watch before liao. Never mind, still can re-watch.

Then, out of the blue, my mum said:

*referring to Friday night* Wah, last Friday you rushed out excitedly, immediately after hearing that girl saying something about porn hor. You really thought they were going to show the real thing meh????

And she sort of said it in a disapproving way, like I'd really be interested in watching porn.

EXCUSE ME HOR!!! I DIDN'T REALLY HEAR WHAT THE GIRL WAS SAYING ALSO LOR!!! I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT PORN UNTIL I REACHED THE TV! I RUSHED TO THE TV ONLY BECAUSE I WAS CURIOUS AS TO WHY THE GIRL WAS TALKING SO AGITATEDLY!

Sheesh.

I was so furious at her I didn't know what to say first.

I wanted to defend myself, but wouldn't that look like I was actually wanting to watch 'that part' but denying it?

I considered keeping my mouth shut, but I thought that would just give her the impression that she was right and I was wrong. Which means she'd think that I really rushed out for porn.

My mother actually thought I rushed out to the TV for porn.

You say lah, angry or not?

Fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking pissed off.

After my mum pissed me off, I gave up watching the show (I've watched it before, anyway) and went online (and here I still am).

Mum: You go online always chat nia. You chat with who one ar?

*Fumes*

I do not always chat with people 'nia', actually. I usually visit websites, update my blog, check my Friendster and Facebook accounts, check for new mail, and play Maple Story. Chatting is just a side thing.

However, she doesn't seem to understand that.

Me: How can I remember???

You'd expect me to name you every single person I've ever talked to online? I've got over 200 contacts in my MSN. And you want me to read out every single person to you?

Mum: *in a disapproving tone* Wah... Means you talk to too many people until you cannot remember liao hor?

DUH!!!!!!

Who remembers?? They're just random conversations!!!

A few moments later, I was chatting with Sean. Someone from church.

Mum walks over.

Mum: Now that you are chatting with that person, I'm sure you can remember who you are talking to right now?

Right. Sarcasm.

I could see that she wanted me to tell her who I was talking to, but since she didn't ask me directly, I just kept quiet.

If you want to know who I am talking to, just ask. Or you can just spy on me from the back while I'm typing. You have always loved doing that. Why not do it again?

She knew I wouldn't answer her, so she finally asked. "So can you tell me who you are talking to or not?"

I don't need to report to you about every single person I talk to, you know. FYI, I'm eighteen fucking years old.

Me: *fucking, fucking annoyed* SEAN LAH!!!

And as usual, she gave me one of her lectures for losing my temper again.

Who wouldn't, after being accused of wanting to watch porn, and then being questioned like a criminal for talking to people on MSN?

And mind you, she's paranoid about me talking to strangers.

For some unknown reason, she seems to think that one day, I'll fall in love with a con-man online, lose my virginity to him, and get gang raped by his friends. And then, with some luck, I'll get videos of me getting raped distributed to the entire world like what happened to Mr. Chua Soi Lek.

Looking on the bright side, I'll be a famous porn star.

Why isn't my mother happy about that?

Big Red Button.

I found this.

Test your perseverance.

Enjoy.

P.S. : I wanted to post it here to avoid the trouble of having to navigate to another page (which I know some readers would be too lazy to do), but Blogger does not allow me to post embed stuff.

I dunno why.

This post is going to ruin your mood.

Disclaimer: Reading this post will be carried out at the reader's own risk. The administrator and author of this blog will not be responsible for the ruining of moods or any mental discomfort caused.

Life's getting mundane again.

Monday. First day of school. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Tuesday. Second day of school. Still hating it.

Wednesday, I'm halfway through the week.

Thursday. Sigh... I still have one final day of work.

Friday. Why isn't it Saturday yet??? I still have to go to school!!!!!

Saturday. YAY!!!! NO SCHOOL TODAY!!!

Sunday. Shit. I've got work the next day.

And it's back to Monday.

I hate my (current) life.

***

Kevin's coming back this Wednesday!!! Yay!!!! We're planning to hang out on Thursday, after school. I soooooo can't wait. Thursday is Sports Day, so I won't be doing any teaching. Which is very lucky for me, because I won't be able to concentrate on teaching anyway.

Excitement's getting at me.

***

Took the driving pre-test today. It went pretty well. I think I can honestly say that I do have some inborn talent at driving. Maybe one day, I might be a professional car racer. A considerable option, if I don't get into university. Lol.

I love speed.

Really, I do.

I heard there's this go-kart track (you pay some rental money and you get to have a go-kart race with your friends) somewhere at KL. Let's go try it out.

Up for a challenge, anyone?

***

Moving house soon. I promise, I'll upload photos of my new home when it's ready. Which will be somewhere around April.

***

Went shopping with parents for household appliances today. For the new house. From 12 p.m. to FIVE IN THE FUCKING EVENING.

I was tired, nauseous, sweaty, hot, sleepy, thirsty, constipated (yes, I was sort of in an uncomfortable state of constipation. Literally.) and dizzy (from looking up at ceilings and spinning fans too much, when we were shopping for ceiling fans). And I so wanted to swear audibly. Unfortunately, my parents were in hearing proximity.

In short, I felt fucked up. No, wait. I was fucked up.

***

I really can't wait for Kevin to be back.

Frustrations

A short post. Not in the blogging mood. Partly because I'm just too stressed out, and partly because I've gotta pee real bad. The problem is, I'm just too lazy to walk to the bathroom 'cause its TEN FREAKING STEPS AWAY.

Wah!!! The toilet so far hor!!! Pity, must walk so far every time I need to pee!!!!

Also, lately, I haven't been indulging in text messaging anymore. Ever since Kevin attended National Service.

Sob.

Miss him.

Yesterday, I took a taxi to Gurney Plaza, directly after school dismissed. Walked, shopped, caught a movie (The Spiderwick Chronicles) and took dinner there. Bird was supposed to fetch me home but the traffic jam was f**king horrible so my dad came over to her house to pick me up.

Arrived home at 11 p.m., went to bed at 1 a.m. .

Today, I felt like a zombie teacher.

Needless to say, I was in a horrible mood. And to top it off, it was a pretty hectic day today, what with more than three quarters of the class 'forgetting' to bring their P.E. shirts AGAIN (Teacher, you didn't say must bring, also!!! Ok, ok, I promise, Friday I sure bring one. Promise!!!) and nobody bothered to prepare for the Science presentation on Biodiversity.

Out of frustration, I threatened that I'd give them demerit marks if they didn't bring their P.E. shirts on Friday.

This time, I'll really do it. I've had enough.

As the day went by, it got exponentially worse. When I'd found out that none of the students prepared for the presentation on Biodiversity (bio-shit my ass, why did I give myself trouble by giving them unnecessary science projects in the first place?), it was the last straw.

"I expect all of you to be prepared BY TOMORROW!!! IF NOBODY PRESENTS TOMORROW, I'LL GIVE THE WHOLE CLASS DEMERIT MARKS! UNDERSTAND??!!!!"

At the end of the day, nobody was ready for the presentation, so I had to give them a free period (make that TWO free periods) because I didn't really prepare for the next lesson - I thought it was going to be presentation day - and they didn't look like they were in the mood of listening anyway.

I'm so fucking stressed out.

And now, I need to go.

Pee.

Of guys and their taste on females

Experiment 1.

Hypothesis: Most guys, if not all, have about the same taste when it comes to rating females' looks and beauty.

Controlled variable: My question.
Manipulated variable: The guys.
Dependant variable: The guys' answers.

Procedures:
1. A list of guy friends are written down. For best results, collect at least six or seven people.
2. Each subject is individually asked this question: "On a scale of one to ten, rate my looks."
3. The responds of the subjects are recorded and tabled.

Observation:
Chriztopher: 7.

Kevin: 7.

Marcus: *insert some weird mathematical constant* multiplied by *insert a real number* and you'll get the answer.

For some reason, he just refused to give direct answers like everyone else.

In short, his answer was 7.8.

Wen-Jian: 7 or 8 lidat. Errr...7.5 lah.

Paul: Actually I wanted to give you a 6. But since you're so cute, ok lah, give you 7.

Thanks a lot.

Sean: 7.

Michael: 8.

Wai Soon: 8.

Hock Hsiang: Don't trust my answer. 3.

Results:
Chriztopher: 7
Kevin: 7
Marcus: 7.8
Wen-Jian: 7.5
Paul: 7
Sean: 7
Michael: 8
Wai Soon: 8
Hock Hsiang: 3

Conclusion: Most guys, if not all, have about the same taste when it comes to rating females' looks and beauty. Hypothesis accepted. In the eyes of the male species, Rachel is either a 7 or 8.

Note: Subject Michael may not be accurate, since he is just an online friend and we have never met in real life. Also, Hock Hsiang is probably blind.

=P

Experiment 2.

Hypothesis: Most guys, if not all, have about the same standard when it comes to rating females' looks and beauty.

Controlled variable: My question.
Manipulated variable: The guys.
Dependant variable: The guys' comments.

Procedures:
1. A list of guy friends are written down. For best results, collect at least six or seven people.
2. Each subject is individually asked this question: "Comment on your rating."
3. The responds of the subjects are recorded and tabled.

Observation:
Chriztopher (7): Eh, I give you seven some more not satisfied ah?? considered good liao, ok!!!

Kevin (7): Seven considered quite good liao lah...

Marcus (7.8): Means quite pretty.

Wen-Jian (7.5): 7.5 is pretty good. I've seen worse.

Paul (7): 7 considered pretty lah.

Sean (7): Not bad.

Michael (8): Pretty.

Wai Soon (8): Above average lor.

Hock Hsiang (3): Err..below average la.

Results:
Chriztopher: Good.
Kevin: Quite good.
Marcus: Quite pretty.
Wen-Jian: Pretty good. Seen worse.
Paul: Pretty.
Sean: Not bad.
Michael: Pretty.
Wai Soon: Above average.
Hock Hsiang: Below average.

I'm so gonna kill HH for contaminating my almost-perfect results.

Conclusion: Most guys, if not all, have about the same standard when it comes to rating females' looks and beauty. Hypothesis accepted. In the eyes of the male species, Rachel is under the category "pretty".

Note: Hock Hsiang confirm blind one.

Random stuff

Bought Veet. RM 22.00. Waxed my legs and underarms. They're so smooth now.

Got involved in Flag Day event. Walked from Kek Lok Si to Paya Terubong to Bandar Baru Supermarket to Farlim. Phew. I can't feel my legs anymore.

Kevin's attending National Service. I'm bored without him around.

Ate M&M's. Saved the yellows and reds for last.


The previous outing with Cindy and Xing at Gurney Drive's hawker centre:




Favorite shots of all times:






Last but not least...

This, dated back in 2002:


When I was still flat chested, wearing glasses, and stuck in a chubby body.

With regards to my previous post.

No, Su is NOT Cheah Chor Beng.

Su = ex best friend.

CCB = ex boy friend.

Note the difference.

My ex-best friend.

The following involves partial private details and personal relationships. Some parts are either edited or omitted to protect the privacy of the said people in this post. However, for the reading pleasure of my beloved readers, I'll try to put in as much information and to be as honest as possible.

About 2 years ago, I met this guy, Su*. We sort of knew about each other's existence, but it wasn't until a year later that we became friends. Eventually, we got so close to the point that in my social circle, I put him on par with my best girl friends whom I stuck with, through thick and thin.

We were happy together and I must say, despite our differences (having the habit of unjustly discriminating people and being over-judgemental, I had to put in extra effort - mind you, it could be hard at times - in over looking his, uh, differences, as one would call it), I enjoyed his company. We helped each other out, frequented each others' homes, went to the movies, and hung out together. We even shared special language codes one leh!!!! I always thought that he'd share the mutual cherishing of the friendship.

How awfully wrong I realised I have been.

A few months back, he continued his tertiary education. In another place.

Out of sight, out of mind.

No calls, no text messages, no e-mails, no nothing.

To date, we have only communicated only twice through MSN.

And on both occasions, I messaged him first.

The first one went something like this (from what I can remember):

Me: Hi!!! How's uni life? Long time no see. Did you miss me?

After about half an eternity...

Him: Hello.
Me: How are you? Missing us back in Penang?
Him: Fine. But it's too early to be missing home yet.
Me: So you'll miss me in the months to come?

I forgot what he replied, but I don't remember him saying yes.

After that, I tried talking to him a little more, but he didn't seem interested.

Irritated.

Don't you find it annoying when you try to strike up a conversation with people online, only to find them replying every ten minutes or so, with only two-syllable grunts at most?

An example:

Me: *chatter, chatter, chatter*
Other person: Uhuh.
Me: *chatter, chatter, chatter*
Other person: Yes.
Me: *chatter, chatter, chatter*
Other person: Ah...

At this point, I normally get the hint and stop the conversation altogether.

And so, I discontinued the conversation.

Correction. I was on the verge of discontinuing the conversation. But Su took the lead. He stopped replying my messages first, before I did.

Hey, wasn't that supposed to be my move?

Double irritated.

Okay lar, maybe he was busy or something, but still. Couldn't he at least seem more enthusiastic when talking to me? I'm his friend leh!

Apparently, he had forgotten that for the past one year, we had been spending a huge portion of our time together.

And ever since that interaction (that wasn't considered a proper conversation), I didn't hear from him anymore.

A few weeks ago, I sent him a text message. He never did reply.

When asked his sister the reason, she told me that according to him, "Somethings' wrong with my cell phone. Can't reply text messages to some people."

Some people.

More like "a certain un-randomly chosen person" to me.

Talked to Mil* (a mutual friend of Su's and mine) the other day. He also complained about how Su hasn't contacted him ever since he left for university, despite the fact that they were best friends ever since they were in primary school.

A few days back, I sent Su another message in MSN.

Some of the words were in our code language, but I've translated them into comprehensive words for your reading pleasure:

Me: Hello!

After one-and-a-half-eternities...

Him: Hello.
Me: How long have you not been contacting me? Lousy friend.

Yes, I was reprimanding him. I wasn't going to be patient with him anymore, drowning myself in the delusion that one day he'd magically remember that we'd once been friends.

Him: What!
Me: Hmph.
Him: I've returned your book. Sorry for the wait.

I borrowed him my favourite books during our 'friendship days' and I almost forgot to claim them back. I'm supposed to get them back from his sister. Of whom, I've also built very slight resentment towards. For a reason. If you want to know, ask me personally.

Me: Useless, lousy friend. Where did you disappear to for the past two months?
Him: Uni?

I fucking know you're at your fucking uni. I didn't mean that question literally, and you know it.

Me: Go uni, forget old friends liao la!
Him: You're a teacher now, right? How's teaching? Did your students bully you?
Me: Wait, wait. I'll answer your questions later. I want to give you a big piece of my mind first.
Him: How big?

Dumbass, still pretending to be oblivious about my annoyance towards his attitude.

Me: You ar!!! Go uni then stop contacting people liao. Even Mil complained!
Him: What...
Me: Out of sight, out of mind, is that it?
Him: So what... ;) (yes, he really did give me that smiling emoticon). Told you I'm not sentimental.

Oh, so now you're blaming it on your natural, in-born unsentimentalness.

Me: Give me a good reason for your prolonged absence.
Him: Absence from what?

You know very well where your absence is. Stop acting dumb. Oh, wait. Maybe you really are, when it comes to relationships.

Me: You know what I mean.
Him: Why would I need to give you a reason? I'm not your student.

For fuck's sake, you'd give me a reason if you still took me as your friend.

Me: Hmph. So do you still remember my name, then?
Him: Uh, Who are you?

Countering sarcasm with more sarcasm.

Me: See! Go uni forget my name liao. Do you still remember who is Mil, then?
Him: But of course.
Me: Why do you still remember Mil but not me?
Him: Who are you?
Me: I'm the pretty one.
Him: How can I forget when I don't know who you are?
Me: That's pretty much the point of forgetting, isn't it? To not remember you knew that person and therefore you think that you never knew her.
Him: Es tut mir lied, ich weiss nicht was sie versprechen.

Stop it before I explode.

Me: Apparently, my comprehension has suddenly gone down a steep hill and disappeared.
Him: Sou desu ne.

I said, stop it before I explode.

Me: Or maybe its just that you're speaking in a language i don't understand. Which do you think is most likely? Me completely losing my ability to comprehend or you speaking in a foreign language ON PURPOSE to confuse me?

As you can see, I was still trying my very best to strike up a conversation with him.

Him: Whatever.

WTF??? I'll pretend you didn't say that.

Me: So how are you?

See, I'm still being nice to you despite the fact that I so feel like strangling you. You'd better appreciate it.

Him: Fine whatsoever. Bugs on the breeze, rain's on the by and by.

I'm not interested in knowing the condition of your living place or the weather there. You could live in a pig's sty for all I care. I want to know about YOU; not the environment around you.

Me: Skip the literal parts.

Maybe you could tell me more about your life in university. How you're coping with the new environment, new experiences, etc.

Him: Fine whatsoever. You?
Me: Same as usual.

Of course, not taking into account that I'm facing major stress at work, tackling new challenges, trying very hard not to fall in love, undergoing a wardrobe makeover, and beginning to put on make-up. But I guess you don't need to know about that, since you don't seem interested in talking to me anyway.

That pretty well concluded the end of our conversation.

And he still didn't give me a satisfactory answer as to why he stopped contacting me.

I sooooooo regret giving him that awfully, awfully cute Keroppi key chain souvenir from Japan, which cost me about 20 freaking bucks. I bet it's all black and dirty and forgotten and abandoned in a corner of his room, because his books are the ones that will determine his future, not some stupid, girlish key chain. And definitely not friendship.

I swear, I'm never talking to him ever again.

Don't blame me. I've already tried my very best to save the friendship.

Even when we were friends, he was selfish (that would be another story; ask me personally if you're interested), immature, and still depended quite heavily on his parents when it came to decision-making.

He was a mama's boy.

That's be perfectly fine with me, if only I didn't have so much resentment towards mama's boys, because they seem to include their mother into every single aspect of their life.

Also, lots of other stuff not appropriate being mentioned here. Again, ask me if you're interested in knowing.

I don't even fucking care if Su were to come across this. He probably won't anyway, because he's more into chim stuff.

My blog is too superficial for his high-standards.

*Names have been changed to protect the privacy of the persons involved.

Me.

Went to Queensbay today. Bought a new 4GB memory stick and a Bluetooth USB device for my computer.

Am so happy.

Crap aside, watch this video I made.



Whadya think?

Disappointments

I want that pair of pretty pink ribboned heels!!!! Why, oh, why don't they have a size four???????!!!!!

I'm crying now.

Shopping. Again.

School holidays are here. And what else would I be doing, if not indulging in my favorite past time?

SHOPPING!!!!!

Fuhhhh. It's been WEEKS (Weeks, I'm telling you. Weeks!!!) since my last shopping trip. My clothes are getting ancient.

Two days ago, a very excited and enthusiastic Rachel got dressed and armed for the big event.

I know, I know. It sounds as though I were a little kid, being let out by my parents for the very first time. What to do? My job is tying me down.

So, on that Tuesday morning, I got up early, got dressed, and went to the bus stop.

It took the bus THIRTY WHOLE FREAKING MINUTES TO ARRIVE. By then, half my body had already melted into human goo. And my other half (the skeletal frame) was covered in cobwebs and dust.

At least the bus was air conditioned.

I finally arrived at Queensbay ONE HOUR LATER. I seriously hate public transport.

Shopped, shopped, and shopped some more.

Bought:
1. A cute shirt from MNG. It was blood-suckingly expensive, but I fell in love with it at first sight. My shopping instincts got the better of me.

RM 90.00.

2. Another really cute (but rather tight fitting) shirt from Roxy. Fell half in love with it. The other half? Peer pressure.

It wasn't me. Blame my friends. They told me to do it.

RM 70.00.

3. A plain white button-up blouse from Padini.

RM 62.00.

4. A white bra. Because a teacher must give good example to the students. Cannot wear white blouse with coloured bra inside. Very indecent.

RM 10.00.

Spent 50 freaking bucks at TGI Friday's. What to do. The food nice mah.

Today, I went shopping again. At Gurney.

Didn't spend as much today, though. All I bought was a pair of heels. (And I'm also proud to say that I overcame my temptation of buying on impulse. I'm a gooooood girl!!! Praise me!!) Most of my cash (which wasn't much left over from Tuesday's shopping spree) contributed to fulfilling my carnal instinct...

Hunger.

Or rather, my craving for food. Regardless of whether I'm hungry or not.

List of food I ate since I arrived at Gurney:

1. 1901's hotdog.
2. Chilli's burger.
3. Popcorn (during a movie).
4. Supper at Gurney Drive's hawker centre: Pandan chicken, fried chicken skin (with lots of fats and oil), chestnuts, and sugar cane juice.

When I arrived home, it was already 11 p.m..

I'm now fat, broke, and wasted.

Dreams

Hypothesis 1: Dreams depict what you love in real life.

What does a guy who is addicted to online games and crazy about a girl dream of in his sleep?

The (probably) most unlikely thing that would happen: Him playing online games with the said girl.

Ehhhhh, it's proven one, okay. Kevin verified it last night, in his sleep.

Hypothesis 2: Dreams tell you your wants, especially those your conscious mind doesn't acknowledge.

Last night, I dreamt that my hamsters finally had babies. This is the third time I'm having this dream. Gosh, I must really want my hamsters to mate.

I occasionally still dream of Tree. In my dreams, I usually see myself patching up with him or just having a great time together.

Thing is, it's been six whole months since I've last thought of Tree (I'm proud to say I've moved on), and I've never really given much thought on wanting my hamsters to breed.

Hypothesis 1 and 2 proven. By Dr. Rachel Liew (Gossip Hons., Shopping Ph.D.) and Dr. Kevin Lim (Metaphysics BSc., Mapling Ph.D.).

***

The red rocket finally realised there was a blue ring behind it the whole time and decided it'd be so much easier if it just turned around and screwed it.

About time they noticed.

From a (inexperienced) teacher's view.

School holidays are finally here!!!!

Woo Hoo!!!!!

I think I'm happier and even more excited about the school holidays than any other school student you could ever think of.

No more stress. No more yelling at the top of my voice and getting daily sore throats. No more stressful and confusing lesson planning. No more sweating like hell in the hot and humid air condition-less classrooms and staffroom. No more hurrying around the school in difficult heels. No more blisters on my feet. No more waking up at the awfully ungodly hour of SIX IN THE FREAKING MORNING.

Best of all, no more feeling guilty for demeriting students!!!

Yay!!!

Can't blame me, you know. I've got a soft spot, especially for students with grave expressions when I'm writing in the discipline file. It gets worse when I remember that only yesterday, I was happily joking and sharing secrets with them, feeling loved and accepted.

Some of them requested that I give them a photo of myself.

I'm charging them RM 1.50 each.

I really wished I could distribute my picture for free (Lol, that sounded so vain and wrong), but it's just too costly. I've calculated the cost and I'd have to spend at least 20 bucks for it. I don't wanna pay for my job when I've not even received my first pay yet.

Besides, even with the 1.50 charge, I'm gonna lose some money.

12 photos for RM 21.00. Each student pays RM 1.50, so I'll only receive 18 bucks.

Today was a freaking stressful day. Had three classes of P.E. and I was sweating like hell in the hot, stuffy and dirty gym. With almost half the students 'forgetting' to bring their P.E. t-shirts, I had no choice but to write in their discipline files.

I hate it when students make me do things I really don't want to do.

And you always have to yell across the gym five freaking times before they actually acknowledge your presence.

But at the end of the day, after I finished the lesson (in which only three students listened attentively to; the rest were either sleeping, talking, or playing) my students had a 'bonding session' (apparently, most of them were more interested in 'bonding' with me rather than listen to my teaching) with me and I have to admit, I really did have fun. I found myself really laughing at their jokes and all my smiles were genuine. I joined in their conversations and listened to their gossips with much interest.

Today, I was also especially proud of a student (I now have slight regret that I didn't tell her how I felt) for achieving the highest score in the Science test. Among all her classmates, she was also the only student who passed. She's also one of my favorite students and one of the few I fully trust.

I know some of you (or maybe most) are probably thinking "Puh-lease, I've always been a straight A's achiever. So she passed. What's the big deal?"

A month ago, I would have thought the same thing.

However, seeing students so weak in their studies, you can't help but begin to worry a little about them. And when they do achieve something out of your expectations, it's inevitable that you'd feel proud of their achievements.

Being a teacher must have probably stirred up my maternal instincts.

Where are my vulgarities??? My sarcasm?? My bias towards others whom I unjustly hate? My heartless insults???

OMG, this is so not me.

This job is seriously gonna get me thoroughly brain-washed.

Stressed out again.

I've never felt this stressed out since my A Level exam was over.

A pile of test papers are sitting on my study table, waiting to be corrected. And I'm just so damn lazy to do it 'cause:

1. I've been looking at the same questions over and over again and I'm going insane if i read them one more time.
2. There are so many different answers - a whole variety of them - and I'm getting a migraine deciding whether to mark them right or wrong. Especially to those 'technically/partially correct but not what I really asked for' kind of answers.
3. Students. Hand writings. Illegible. They're connected.
4. Grammar. Sentence structure. Horrible. They're closely connected.
5. 'Smart' students, 'smart' answers. The only unfortunate thing is that apparently, they didn't think it'd might be a better idea if they actually studied for the test.
6. Copycats. They're abundant.

I'm also supposed to study that chapter on Nutrition because I'm gonna have a lesson on that tomorrow. Unfortunately, I'm still having a hard time remembering which vitamin prevents Goiter. And which foodstuffs contains iron. And why carrots are good for our body. At least I know vitamin C prevents scurvy. I know that's supposed to be like some general knowledge or something, but I can't help but boast.

I know vitamin C prevents scurvy!!! Yay!!!! I'm smart!!!

And I also know that diary products contain calcium, which helps strengthen our bones.

Told you I'm smart.

***

School ended at 1.25 p.m. today. Had a short lunch with Kevin and friends.

Sadly, his lunch break was only 1 to 2 p.m.

He left immediately after lunch.

Feeling abandoned, I went grocery shopping alone at a nearby plaza.

Grocery shopping. Alone.

Trust me, when you feel really, really, really bored and lonely, even grocery shopping can lighten up the mood. I bought a whole box of energy bars (yippee!! Now I have a well-stocked supply for quick snacks in between classes for the next two weeks! The energy boost might just help improve my teaching. Or maybe it could fill my empty tummy when I'm just too busy to get something to eat from the canteen) and a bottle of Spritzer fizzy mineral water.

I'm beginning to think if it might be a better idea if I chose to rot at home instead of being eaten up by my work load at school.

Either way, I die.

I don't see much difference. I might as well enjoy the final moments of my life before I leave.

***

Election heat is high.

Read.

Laugh.

And remember to laugh real loud. The absurdity of our country's politicians.

Guys will always be guys.

Kevin is so addicted to Maple Story that the in-game music is playing in his head. He can't get it out. Poor him.

I lvoe my job.

"I love my job. I love my job. I love my job. I love my job."

-Emily Charlton, The Devil Wears Prada-

At times, I almost find myself chanting the mantra to myself as well.

I refuse to admit that I'm getting bored of my working experience. I mean, I love my students so much. Why would I ever think of quitting? I enjoy teaching my students. I take pride in knowing that I have at least done my part in providing them with knowledge, in preparing them for their future. I love joining them under the scorching sun in the field during sports practice. I love giving them homework and then correcting them, because this way, they'll learn from their mistakes. I don't care if they only have a few pages of assignments but at the end of the day, I'll have three whole piles of them to correct. I don't care if I have to occasionally lug home tons of heavy books, to find myself correcting them till the wee hours while the students who wrote them are already fast asleep. I enjoy deciphering the sometimes impossibly illegible hand writings and giving myself a migraine while squinting my eyes at them. Most of all I JUST LOVE IT when I have to patiently explain the route of the blood flow three whole times while the student still stares blankly at me. Oh, and also when I actually explain the details (and even slipping in the answers) and they still give the wrong answers in their homework.

I do wonder at times. Are all school teachers like bionic people or something?

On Friday, directly after school ended, I came down with the flu.

Great way to start the weekend, huh?

Besides that, my life is beginning to get a little mundane. I can't think of anything interesting to blog anymore, because most of my time is spent at school. Unless I blog about the blunders and stupid things my students do (which obviously I won't because that doesn't seem like a very nice thing to do), I can't think of anything else to blog about.

So, please excuse me if my blog entries are getting shorter and more rare.

Oh, yes. Yesterday, they had this staff development thingy and we had to go to school on a Saturday, when all the students are obviously enjoying themselves at home or still snoring away.

Mr. Sebastian taught us teachers how to create our own website and to set questions on the site. You know, like a learning site where students get to do their revision online.

And it was the very first time I was the one being a teacher to my 'classmates'. It felt a little weird teaching those who taught me just a few years back. Imagine your school teachers asking you something and you actually had to explain to them ad teach them.

Not that I hate it or anything. It's nice to be able to communicate with my teachers in another way, other than asking them about academic stuff and all.

I've got lots of other stuff to say, but obviously I can't say them here for fear of getting sacked.

Why can't Blogger allow us bloggers to censor parts of a blog entry or to limit a certain blog entry only to specific people?

You know, like requiring the reader to type a password if they want to read about sensitive issues and such.

And of course, I'll only give the passwords to people whom I trust.